Batman

Billionaire playboy by day, Protector of Gotham City by night. (Ignore One Direction Posts, they're Robin's)

[Batman @gothamprotector]

I would wish everyone a happy Father's Day. But I don't have a father.

[Batman @gothamprotector]

List of things more cool than batman...
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[Batman @gothamprotector]

If I buy a few bat cowls, it will seem conspicuous. So instead I shall buy 10,000 graphite helmets with pointy ears, that's less conspicuous

[Batman @gothamprotector]

Raise your hand if you can't wait for Arkham Origins. Of course I already hacked Rocksteady's servers and took a beta copy but...

[Batman @gothamprotector]

Aqua man just called and asked for help. Something smells *puts on sunglasses* "fishy".

[Batman @gothamprotector]

I can hit people so hard that words describing the impact pop out of thin air... WHAM! POW! BOOM!

[Batman @gothamprotector]

One Question... Does it come in black?

[Batman @gothamprotector]

People think I am really serious because I never smile. I actually do, except all the witnesses are on the floor unconscious around me.

[Batman @gothamprotector]

No street thugs of Gotham, those were not fireworks, those were the few moments after the punch but before the coma.

[Batman @gothamprotector]

Explains itself

[Batman @gothamprotector]

You can never have too many bat symbols on your pajamas.

[Batman @gothamprotector]

Shoutout? We need to spread the word of a guy in black giving nightmares to criminals.

[Batman @gothamprotector]

And then there's Supes

[Batman @gothamprotector]

When I am feeling down and can't bring myself to beat criminals up, I watch Marvel movies to make myself mad.

[Batman @gothamprotector]

Robin wanted an Xbox One so he could play Arkham Knight when it comes out. I gave him a Game Cube that said "Work Harder" on it.

[Batman @gothamprotector]

Why does the dentist keep sending me complaints of missing teeth?

[Batman @gothamprotector]

Thinking of putting bat ears on Mr Freeze's suit and using it for the summer.

[Batman @gothamprotector]

Looking forward to playing Arkham Knight on an 80 inch smart TV with surround sound. And telling Robin he can't play.