Numb Rum & Cocaine

Drunken haze in a Klonopin daze. Curator of multiple addictions.

[Numb Rum & Cocaine @GottaBewiser]

That last tweet was a lie. I didn't calculate shit. I just happened to watch a very detailed episode of Discovery ID recently.

[Numb Rum & Cocaine @GottaBewiser]

Im not saying I'm depressed, but I have calculated how many minutes it takes a human to be strangled by a rope holding their own body weight

[Numb Rum & Cocaine @GottaBewiser]

Hope you're enjoying your relationship! I'll just be over here, alone, depressed.. lemme know if you need anymore relationship advice...

[Numb Rum & Cocaine @GottaBewiser]

I like to believe in karma, until I spend my day saving a friends relationship while I get shit on by every guy I know simultaneously.

[Numb Rum & Cocaine @GottaBewiser]

Agree, wholeheartedly! @Sickboy_4000

[Numb Rum & Cocaine @GottaBewiser]

Who has the right to get mad in that situation? You, me, her? Lemme remind you that I didn't have to bother with pics to ruin you.

[Numb Rum & Cocaine @GottaBewiser]

Its cute how you don't check your notifications, so I see that you've been tagged in another girls pics before you even know they fucked you

[Suvin Vinura @SuvieDC]

I don't like the person I become when I see a burrito.

[Inappropriate Charm @LackOfShame]

People that don't lay in bed for 3 hours worrying about random, irrelevant shit every night.

What's that like?

[Inappropriate Charm @LackOfShame]

Sex so good you fuck the fitted sheet off.

That.

[Numb Rum & Cocaine @GottaBewiser]

Just hit 18k tweets. If this doesn't call for a celebratory drink, then im pretty sure I've been confused about why we are all fucking here

[Inappropriate Charm @LackOfShame]

OMG, you're huge! There's no way you'll fit inside me.

- My clothes.

[Numb Rum & Cocaine @GottaBewiser]

So many reasons to drink. Mostly, I have found, it cures that pesky hole-punched-through-your-chest feeling that human interaction causes

[Numb Rum & Cocaine @GottaBewiser]

"My bed was shaking. I can't get to sleep.."- Bitch from The Exorcist. Newsflash: she is getting more action than us. Demons be cray.

[Numb Rum & Cocaine @GottaBewiser]

Amen, and peace be with you to that! @scrawnyshit

[@kingamir @kingamir]

You're old enough to qualify for AARP. Why are you fighting with strangers on the internet?

[Numb Rum & Cocaine @GottaBewiser]

Ugh. 16 days and I will be free to return the favor! @klowry666 @drugsandboners @ShittyComedian

[Numb Rum & Cocaine @GottaBewiser]

The crazys that join twitter and never surpass the need to be RT by a celebrity. The rest of us are dying to be RT for being fucked up.

[Eve @lovemydogduck]

I am having an out of money experience.