Grayson Stadler

I hate myself but I love myself 💁🏼‍♀️

[Grayson Stadler @graceface327]

I never knew I could be jealous of a ceiling fan until I had a newborn

[Grayson Stadler @graceface327]

The end of pregnancy is wild..you’re just walking around with a full ass baby in you..what the hell

[Grayson Stadler @graceface327]

No one warned me that being pregnant would just be spending about 75 percent of my day going pee

[Grayson Stadler @graceface327]

One thing I’ll never eat is dessert hummus..it’s gone too far 🤢

[Grayson Stadler @graceface327]

You’ve gotta be so brave to weigh yourself on the giant scale outside of Publix

[Grayson Stadler @graceface327]

There might be tons of new shows out there but I’m always gonna pick watching 30Rock for the millionth time

[Grayson Stadler @graceface327]

“You might feel calmer today” my period tracker app after I’ve been in a murderous rage all morning..missed it today Flo

[Grayson Stadler @graceface327]

Imagine the pressure of finding an interesting and appropriate anecdote to share as a Jeopardy contestant

[Grayson Stadler @graceface327]

One confusing thing about me is I can’t sleep without my white noise machine but the sound of it during the day makes me want to rip my hair out…I’m a woman of many mysteries

[Grayson Stadler @graceface327]

Keith Urban has gotten away with his hairstyle for too long..you’re married to Nicole Kidman just stop with the highlights

[Grayson Stadler @graceface327]

@OBViouslyyy Literally same

[Grayson Stadler @graceface327]

If we’re gonna have to live through this unprecedented times at least we have the show Naked and Afraid…what a wild concept I can’t stop watching

[Grayson Stadler @graceface327]

Do we really need all the “don’t flush your feminine products” signage..that’s like the first lesson mensturating women learn..we got it

[Grayson Stadler @graceface327]

The people making “fortunes” for fortune cookies gotta get it together “you should consult someone” is not a fortune it’s just a suggestion!! Bring the fun back ti Chinese takeout!

[Grayson Stadler @graceface327]

People who drink lavender lattes..do you also eat soap? Lavender is for soap and satchels in lingerie drawers not coffee

[Grayson Stadler @graceface327]

Sorry in advance to any child I may have but there’s no way I’m gonna be doing Elf on a Shelf..not gonna be me putting that little guy in different scenarios everyday for a month #elfontheshelf #holidays #santaszn

[Grayson Stadler @graceface327]

Mentally preparing for the trauma that is looking at yourself in the salon mirror for the entirety of a haircut

[Grayson Stadler @graceface327]

Pizza doesn’t count if you eat it cold out of the box..it’s the rules

[Grayson Stadler @graceface327]

Tonight I cried in front of my dog and she was so sad and I finally truly get the dog obsession 😭🥹

[Grayson Stadler @graceface327]

I wish I could make everyone as happy as I can make my puppy when I give her an ice cube #puppylove #dumblab #LaborDay