grahamsimmons

He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less. John 3:30

[grahamsimmons @grahamsimmons5]

Chick-fil-A employee: excuse me folks
Me: my pleasure

[grahamsimmons @grahamsimmons5]

I know I'm not taking notes on my laptop... My teacher knows I'm not taking notes on my laptop... Yet here we are

[grahamsimmons @grahamsimmons5]

I wonder what happens if you don’t tell the waitress at olive garden to stop grading the cheese... can I flood this restaurant with mozzarella

[grahamsimmons @grahamsimmons5]

Earl gray tea and gummy worms... not to brag but I’m pretty cultured

[grahamsimmons @grahamsimmons5]

Out of hurricane snacks... it just started to drizzle... so pretty good

[grahamsimmons @grahamsimmons5]

Saw a man on a moped hauling a push mower with him... I think me and South Carolina are going to get along just fine

[grahamsimmons @grahamsimmons5]

Just an update... salsa doesn't make that great of a salad dressing

[grahamsimmons @grahamsimmons5]

@rachellskinnerr @EthanFoushee I call ‘em like I see ‘em

[grahamsimmons @grahamsimmons5]

@cpoole43 Just glad to see it happen

[grahamsimmons @grahamsimmons5]

Light ranch screams I’m trying too hard

[grahamsimmons @grahamsimmons5]

Can’t emphasize enough how much taco Tuesday means to me

[grahamsimmons @grahamsimmons5]

*burns the heck out of his hand*
Mom: ”Don’t burn yourself that grease is hot”

[grahamsimmons @grahamsimmons5]

CTRL c CTRL v

[grahamsimmons @grahamsimmons5]

*bites into a pizza bite* *face melts off*

[grahamsimmons @grahamsimmons5]

Ginger ale is the most underrated of beverages... I’m just here to spread awareness

[grahamsimmons @grahamsimmons5]

Me: We will be there in like 5 seconds Lincoln: *precedes to count to 539 on the ride home*

[grahamsimmons @grahamsimmons5]

All this salt on my car is making me look like an ice road trucker

[grahamsimmons @grahamsimmons5]

Whoever put taco seasoning in cheese... thank you for your contribution to society

[grahamsimmons @grahamsimmons5]

This has been another episode of “a lot harder than that needed to be” I’m your host Graham Simmons signing off

[grahamsimmons @grahamsimmons5]

Pretty sure that children use toothlossage to gain the respect of their peers