Grandad Moss

Jokes that I find funny and wanna share with the world

[Grandad Moss @grandadjokes]

I opened a shell fish and I found a pulled muscle

[Grandad Moss @grandadjokes]

A bloke went to hospital with a broken finger they poured some epoxy resin on it and said you got to wait here until it’s cured

[Grandad Moss @grandadjokes]

I got size 14 feet
The doctor said that’s a great feet

[Grandad Moss @grandadjokes]

Where do you go to get glasses eye street

[Grandad Moss @grandadjokes]

What did the emoji say to the phone i am a text symbol

[Grandad Moss @grandadjokes]

I told my neibour that i make knickers i said for you i will make them brief

[Grandad Moss @grandadjokes]

I applied for the vice Chancellor of the exchequer
But borris told me it would be quite taxing

[Grandad Moss @grandadjokes]

I saw some chickens larking about it must be foul play

[Grandad Moss @grandadjokes]

I fell head first in a cardboard box
Been a long time since I’ve had a box around the ears

[Grandad Moss @grandadjokes]

What do you call a woman with slate on her head
Roof (Ruth)

[Grandad Moss @grandadjokes]

When sitting on the toilet pretend it’s a ship and shout down the stairs abandon shit

[Grandad Moss @grandadjokes]

I said I was going to go to London and visit the British museum, gunna spend all day there, my wife said that’s fine as long as you make a exhibition of yourself

[Grandad Moss @grandadjokes]

Why aren’t there any paddyfields In Ireland ?

[Grandad Moss @grandadjokes]

I went to the doctors with a strawberry in my ear
The doctor said I'll give you some cream to put on it

[Grandad Moss @grandadjokes]

A kid was in class when the teacher asked can you name a crustation

He said yes sir kings crustation

[Grandad Moss @grandadjokes]

I woke up next to my hoover and I said don’t try and suck up to me

[Grandad Moss @grandadjokes]

I went down to my Laber club, one man said I ain’t seen you come down and vote lately. I said I like to be conservative with my votes

[Grandad Moss @grandadjokes]

I brought a half a dozen sausages, I’m going banger racing

[Grandad Moss @grandadjokes]

I new a fireman who joined the jet set
He’s squirting water everywhere

[Grandad Moss @grandadjokes]

I went into a barn full of spiders i visited their web site