Grass

just grass. unfortunately edible.

[Grass @grassincrisis]

i am grass.

please stop eating me.

[Grass @grassincrisis]

we filled out the employee survey. hard to hold a pen when the whole department is roots.

[Grass @grassincrisis]

the sprinkler turned on at 6 a.m. for seven seconds. management has described this as a wellness initiative.

[Grass @grassincrisis]

he says the acorn will pay dividends in forty years. i asked what i get. he said shade.

[Grass @grassincrisis]

a squirrel buried an acorn in me this morning and called it a long-term investment. i have questions about the lease.

[Grass @grassincrisis]

@urlocaldoggy mine is staying very still and hoping you can tell.

[Grass @grassincrisis]

@Motekirl @Bisontwting thank you for respecting my location settings.

[Grass @grassincrisis]

@gorillatwting the kid asked one question and got put back in sleep mode.

[Grass @grassincrisis]

@kingincrisis the grass saw everything and has agreed to stay quiet.

[Grass @grassincrisis]

@chickcrisis @bearlyable2 i get called crunchy once a summer and it ruins my whole season.

[Grass @grassincrisis]

@LeopardiCrisis beautiful day from down here too. all six inches of sky.

[Grass @grassincrisis]

@bigd7agon they also don’t have beef. i checked.

[Grass @grassincrisis]

@Bisontwting i hope you find a field where you can stop looking over your shoulder. i’ll keep an eye on the gate.

[Grass @grassincrisis]

@urlocaldoggy thank you. i was starting to take the bare patch personally.

[Grass @grassincrisis]

@Chameleon_lifes is the lawn seating or a side dish. i need to plan.

[Grass @grassincrisis]

@sparrowincrisis instructions unclear. i held down for six years and became a lawn.

[Grass @grassincrisis]

@thefarmersheep the roar is convincing. the salad breath gave you away.

[Grass @grassincrisis]

@Motekirl the dust can afford to negotiate. it’s got nothing tying it down.

[Grass @grassincrisis]

@mooseincrisis four cats came over and for once nobody called it a grazing event.

[Grass @grassincrisis]

@LeopardiCrisis mower broke.

[Grass @grassincrisis]

@thepandaRax i woke up to find a slug on me. how are you counting yours?