Mel

🇨🇴22
🦎reptile hobbyist
⚰oddities collector
🕷she/her/they/them

[obi @obiyeet]

i do not have red flags i have fun facts

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

when I was a waitress there was a kindly old man with a cane who came in every day, sat at the bar, ate eggs and never said a word. until one day someone was rude to him and he unscrewed the top of his cane and pulled out a MOTHERFUCKING SWORD

[coolpeople number #1 fan Partna @onIychloexhalle]

This is really sending me 😭😭

[Margo Howard @Margoandhow]

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who is next.

[dre 🇵🇸 @altoidsrevenge]

his head too square he’d be in dat mask looking like a funko pop

[Samantha 🏹 @samanthakels]

it all makes sense now

[Paul 💀, (exhausted type) @RoboticoEl]

Hi. My name is Paul. I have a PhD and tenure. Today I decided to test if a bottle of super glue was open by squirting it into my hand.

Then I tried to clean my hand by wiping it on a box.

[Mel @graveyard_bby99]

@DrMattWOBGYN Do you take Oscar Health Insurance because I am 10000% willing to make the 2.5hr drive up there

[Matt Wollenschlaeger, MD, FACOG @DrMattWOBGYN]

In light of current events let’s talk sterilization… if you are of legal age and 100% sure you don’t want to become pregnant ever, I will do your sterilization procedure. Period. I am in Florida but if you need help finding someone I will help. #tubal #sterilization

[The Satanic Temple @satanic_temple_]

The Satanic Temple replies to the Supreme Court ruling that found Boston violated First Amendment rights by refusing to fly Christian flag at City Hall Plaza:

[Mel @graveyard_bby99]

I'm never going to a small fair ever again. The employees are so nonchalant about the whole ordeal. They didn't even think about seatbelts til AFTER it actived. I trust Universal/Islands way more than this

[josh @Joshuajered]

‼️A 14-year-old boy has died after falling from the Free Fall ride at ICON Park. Happened Thursday. #ORLANDO

[Sensei Jax @JaxBladeFitness]

@Saberspark

[Arty the Spectacular Bun 🐇 @SuperiorGothBun]

@Saberspark Damn, I guess we can say Chicken Littie’s Dad was ahead of his time in terms of Disney Villains

[Saberspark @Saberspark]

Disney villains in the 1990s: evildoers who can sing

Disney villains in the 2010s: hidden and meant to surprise the audience

Disney villains in the 2020s: generational trauma and family who gaslights you