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greerster
@greerster
Joined April 2021
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36 Followers
311 Posts
Maybe one day Hawkeyes…
🚨 WELCOME TO SPECIAL TEAMS HELL 🚨
Eagles lose on a walk-off FG. Rams waste a Stafford MASTERCLASS on a blocked kick. 💀
Two teams. Two heartbreaks. ONE THICKER KICKER.
CFB heats up, Nick keeps dropping breadsticks 🥖 & Twitter Stoogery might fix NFL OT. 🏈🔥
🚨 VEGAS ALWAYS WINS 🚨🎰💸
Zach heads to Sin City ready to cash tickets..
NFL❌CFB❌MLB❌
The man couldn't buy a winning bet. 💀
To make matters worse, the Eagles take another L. 🦅
But hey... AT LEAST THE CABANA WAS NICE. 🍹☀️
https://t.co/uqkyKLif8R
#TheStoogeExperience
Apologies for the delay! Here are the Stooge Picks for this week! and the pick results from last week!
Also, last minute submission by Nick. He has decided to switch to the Birds against the Jags!
Who to follow
Aspeadplays
@Aspeadplays
YouTuber ||Twitch affiliate| Twitch: https://t.co/NImhj1faz4
Discord:https://t.co/Ac5diRkQNX
Instagram: https://t.co/jRrZonCi7x…
drewpygaming
@drewpygaming
Twitch streamer/Youtuber trying to bring some fun into the world of gaming! Join the Hang Out Squad!
đerrin
@derrin_hooks
God is my inspiration, Football is my passion, Success and family are my Motivation. ULV'19
USC. Rams. Eagles.
Three teams. Three L’s. Zero happiness. 💀
Nick & Zach break down an absolute disaster of a football weekend and try to figure out which loss hurt the most.
Misery loves company. 🏈🍻
https://t.co/oUa9Xlvtph
#thestoogeexperience
OPI or hand fighting and no call
Dear Football fans, This is a Safe Space.
Do you think this is offensive or defensive pass interference?
🚨 NO WITCHING HOUR FOR YOU 🚨
Nick’s TV DENIED him the NFL morning slate 💀
The boys recap CFB: IT WAS ALWAYS OLE MISS. Nick gets on his USC high horse over the same old issues & puts on the Tin Hat for the Helen Keller rookie cards…
He ain’t buying it. 🧐🏈
QB1 climbin' the ladder. 👏
The Week 2 IE Sleeper Sportsbook odds have dropped… 👀
Anything standout here ?
#IESleeperKeeper
Holtz My Beer 144.21, DegenRookie 85.86
Sources Confirm DegenRookie Participated in This Matchup
Holtz My Beer defeated DegenRookie 144.21–85.86 in a contest that was technically scheduled for the entire weekend but functionally ended sometime during the national anthem.
Holtz received 90.56 points from its three keepers alone. DegenRookie received 85.86 from its entire starting lineup.
That means Lamar Jackson, Justin Jefferson and Javonte Williams could have left the other five Holtz lineup spots empty and still won by 4.70.
League officials have confirmed this is embarrassing.
Degen has disputed that characterization and requested that everyone focus on Week 2 instead.
The request has been denied.
Three Men Entered, One Franchise Died
Holtz’s keeper trio was absurd:
Lamar Jackson: 33.86
Justin Jefferson: 31.65
Javonte Williams: 25.05
Combined: 90.56
Those three players beat DegenRookie by themselves.
This was not a matchup. It was three employees completing an entire corporate acquisition while the rest of Holtz watched from the break room.
Sources close to Degen say the coaching staff attempted several halftime adjustments. Unfortunately, there is no known adjustment for “the opponent’s keepers have already outscored your whole fucking team.”
The league is reportedly reviewing whether Holtz should be allowed to start five additional players after victory has already been mathematically secured.
The Fire Sale Has Been Cancelled Due to Extremely High Prices
One of the league’s bold preseason predictions claimed Holtz would trade Lamar Jackson and Justin Jefferson before Week 4.
After Week 1, Holtz is still willing to listen.
The reported asking price for Lamar is now three first-round picks, a starting quarterback and access to the buyer’s retirement account. Jefferson reportedly costs four firsts, a receiver and a controlling interest in the franchise.
A source close to Holtz clarified the organization’s position:
“Everyone is available. Most of you are just poor.”
Several league owners have reportedly made preliminary inquiries. Those discussions ended when Holtz asked them to include their best player, all future picks and a handwritten apology for assuming there would be a fire sale.
The auction house remains open. Nobody can afford admission.
DegenRookie’s Offense Files a Missing-Person Report
Degen’s leading starter was Travis Etienne with 16.05 points.
CeeDee Lamb followed with 16.00. Justin Herbert scored 15.36. Garrett Wilson added 14.35.
After that, the roster fell down an elevator shaft:
Mark Andrews: 9.90
Josh Downs: 6.00
Tony Pollard: 4.65
Terry McLaurin: 3.55
There was no catastrophic single performance. Instead, the lineup worked together to create a balanced, diversified portfolio of disappointment.
A team source called the performance “a collective effort.”
That is accurate. Everyone contributed to the loss.
Terry McLaurin Successfully Avoids the End Zone, Yardage and Suspicion of Productivity
McLaurin scored 3.55 points, which is roughly what most players earn while being evaluated for a concussion.
Degen started him while Deebo Samuel’s 18.55 remained on the bench.
This means the organization voluntarily selected 3.55 over 18.55, leaving exactly 15 points unused.
It would not have changed the result. Degen would have lost by 43.35 instead of 58.35.
Still, sources say Deebo spent the postgame locker-room meeting staring directly at the coaching staff without blinking.
When asked why Deebo did not start, a team representative explained:
“We liked Terry’s matchup.”
Reporters then asked whether the matchup liked Terry.
The representative ended the press conference.
The $25 Waiver Department Produces Zero
Before the season, Degen spent:
$15 on Odell Beckham Jr.
$10 on Zavion Thomas
Combined Week 1 production: 0.00 points
Both players remained on the bench, where they formed the league’s most expensive podcast.
Sources close to the duo say their chemistry was excellent. They discussed old highlights, future opportunities and how incredible it was that somebody spent $25 to have them sit near the water cooler.
Degen ownership defended the investments:
“Waiver moves are about long-term roster construction.”
League accountants responded that $25 is also 16.7% of the entire season’s $150 budget.
An independent financial review has classified the transactions as entertainment expenses.
Josh Jacobs Was Apparently Employed
Josh Jacobs scored zero from Degen’s bench.
This means Jacobs, OBJ and Zavion Thomas combined for the same number of points as Kyle Pitts: zero.
The league is considering placing all four players into a support group titled “Technically on the Roster.”
George Kittle added 3.70 from the bench, presumably to demonstrate that limited production was still theoretically possible.
Holtz Had More Points Hidden in Storage
Holtz scored 144.21 while Stefon Diggs recorded 15.95 and T.J. Hockenson scored 14.60 on the bench.
Those two bench players combined for 30.55—more than Degen received from Pollard, McLaurin, Andrews and Downs combined.
Holtz’s potential-points total was 165.96. The team could have optimized the lineup further, but management apparently decided that winning by 58 was enough.
A source close to Holtz described the decision as “load management.”
Another said ownership did not want to reveal the full offense before the playoffs.
Both explanations are deeply irritating.
Justin Jefferson Requests More Difficult Assignments
Jefferson scored 31.65 points, significantly more than every Degen starter.
Following the game, reporters asked Jefferson how it felt to dominate the matchup.
He reportedly asked:
“Which matchup?”
Team officials then showed him Degen’s score.
Sources say he nodded politely and returned to the locker room.
Lamar Jackson had a similar reaction after learning that his 33.86 points represented almost 40% of Degen’s total production.
Javonte Williams simply requested that his 25.05 be added to the scoreboard again “in case they didn’t get the fucking message.”
Sources Close to Degen Describe a Calm, Orderly Panic
Degen officials insist the organization remains confident after its league-low performance.
A statement released Monday morning read:
“We believe in our players, our process and our ability to select more productive starters in the future.”
Minutes later, multiple sources reported hearing furniture moving inside the general manager’s office.
Another person familiar with the situation said every player was available except CeeDee Lamb, Justin Herbert, Garrett Wilson, Josh Jacobs, Deebo Samuel and “anyone another owner might actually want.”
That leaves Odell Beckham and several unanswered phone calls.
The Degen Facility Has Been Listed on Zillow
Following the loss, rumors circulated that Degen ownership was considering major organizational changes.
The team denied those reports.
However, the training facility briefly appeared online with the description:
“Spacious fixer-upper. Plenty of bench seating. Recently renovated waiver room. Offense not included.”
The listing was removed after six minutes.
Holtz reportedly submitted an offer anyway, hoping to use the facility for additional trophy storage.
Final Verdict: Holtz Brought Stars; Degen Brought Names
Holtz looked like a genuine championship contender. Its three keepers dominated, Kincaid scored 20.75, Kyren Williams added 16.15 and the bench contained even more production.
Degen assembled a lineup filled with recognizable players and received almost nothing resembling a recognizable fantasy score.
The responsible conclusion is that it was only one week.
The IE Sleeper Network conclusion is that Holtz beat Degen using three players and allowed the remaining five starters to participate for tax purposes.
#IESleeperKeeper
The Rams flew to Australia just to get the belt from the 49ers. Nick is officially PISSED. 🇦🇺
The boys tackle the case of the century—FREE BIG DOM—and make their first CFB & NFL picks of the season.
Gamble responsibly…or don’t. It’s your cash, Stooge.
#TheStoogeExperience
fuck it, Reggie Bush highlights vs Fresno State in 2005 ✌🏻
🚨 NICE BRACKET A**** 🚨
Zach and Nick reveal their way-too-early CFP brackets—and Nick, we may have a problem. The boys deliver some bold playoff takes before recapping a housewarming party where the Stooges and Stoogettes collided.
Who misses the CFP?
🏈 IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE FOOTBALL SEASON 🏈
Football is BACK. Preseason overreactions, rookie QBs, hot-seat debates & questionable football knowledge are already rolling.
The wait is over. We gotta lock in, man. 🔒
https://t.co/zYJ04VcAVT
#thestoogeexperience
Zach’s home improvement projects from HELL 🏠
Tiger Woods 2.0 (The Board) dominates Mini Golf ⛳
Football is BACK 🏈 Hurts is somehow on the hot seat AGAIN, while Dak escapes his annually.
Should a Mini Golf trick shot take 1 stroke off your score?
📽️https://t.co/7x5sKo15aB
🚨EWC Is Here! 🚨
🎮 OpTic Texas begins its quest to defend the Esports World Cup title.
🏈 Plus: Down 15 with 4:00 left after scoring a TD... go for 2 or kick the PAT?
https://t.co/PUrfdgNAXq
#thestoogeexperience
🚨 LeBron James is officially a Philadelphia 76er 🏀
We break down what it means for the Sixers, East, and the NBA title race.
Zach’s moving stoogery, Twitter stoogery, and Nick’s “visionary or unhinged” corporate culture idea.
Did Philly just become the team to beat? #Sixers
🚨 OpTic Texas trolled the 3-peat in heartbreaking fashion.
3 Round 11 losses.
0 trophies.
We break down one of the most painful COD Champs exits ever. Plus, Zach somehow Tokyo drifted a 20-foot U-Haul trying to lock in his move.
https://t.co/96TtPpbOk0
#thestoogeexperience
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