Greg Behrens

My name is Greg Behrens.
I'm a comedian from Atlanta, GA.

[Greg Behrens @gregularcomedy]

I like women like I like my coffee sweetener. Equal.

[Amy Brown Comedy @amybrowncomedy]

@gregularcomedy (Local Comedian and Crockpot King) on Nerdy For #comedypodcast . https://t.co/u2eMPWXfD4 via @YouTube

[Greg Behrens @gregularcomedy]

This that Se7en rain.

[Greg Behrens @gregularcomedy]

Surprise! It's Friday the 13th and a movie I'm in just dropped on Amazon. Also check out this sweet article about it in @FANGORIA !!
https://t.co/nUmdJKX3fl https://t.co/eBK87ykgL1

[FANGORIA @FANGORIA]

Watch the BLOOD MOUNTAIN MASSACRE official trailer, like and share this post for a chance to win a prosthetic head used in the film and a t-shirt.

https://t.co/BJ5bGHwMO7

@BloodMtMassacre @bobfuckingplace @LaughingSkull #sponsored

[Greg Behrens @gregularcomedy]

Someone messaged me first thing this morning about the Oasis reunion and I was like dude, I need a little time to wake up.

[Greg Behrens @gregularcomedy]

I call lube, Faux Hawk Tuah.

[Greg Behrens @gregularcomedy]

Don't think anyone would mind if we change the team name to the Atlanta HAWK TUAH's.

[Greg Behrens @gregularcomedy]

@whoaitsderick I would also add both Woody and Frasier on Cheers. Frank does rule though.

[Greg Behrens @gregularcomedy]

I invited my friend to a blues concert and he was like "Yea! I'd love to go, that sounds super fun!" so I said, "on second thought, it doesn't sound like you'd get it."

[Greg Behrens @gregularcomedy]

Gonna stare at the sun for awhile before the eclipse just to get warmed up.

[Greg Behrens @gregularcomedy]

"I've decided to take this in an entirely different direction."
~me talking to gps~

[Greg Behrens @gregularcomedy]

"Been eating a lot of beans lately" he farted.

[Greg Behrens @gregularcomedy]

"Just go with me for a second..."
~a comedian or a kidnapper~

[Greg Behrens @gregularcomedy]

So many brockets already braken.

[Greg Behrens @gregularcomedy]

I love when people say "I don't give two shits", yea you do, or you wouldn't be trying to one-up people with the amount of shits you don't give.

[Greg Behrens @gregularcomedy]

I turned my clock too far ahead you guys, and now I can't get back to 2024.

[Greg Behrens @gregularcomedy]

After best picture there's gonna be an open mic, so get yer name in that bucket.

[Greg Behrens @gregularcomedy]

Guy after show: "So you perform anywhere else?"
Me: "No, your company's Christmas party was my first time."

[Greg Behrens @gregularcomedy]

I don't accept coincidences, I only take cashcidences.

[Greg Behrens @gregularcomedy]

That last car payment hit different, especially when it's not two years after you don't have the car anymore.