Cipher

Filthy nuance enjoyer

[Cipher @gremlinhat]

@isgoodactually @hot_cocoa_girl I think that's a pretty big and poorly founded assumption, and I don't find it matches my experience. There are some tools that could be described that way, but many that are more healthy/positive than that

[Cipher @gremlinhat]

@isgoodactually @hot_cocoa_girl I don't think I'm claiming any of those things. Rather, I think that women vary, and that while sex is linked to emotional closeness in a way that can make casual sex challenging, I think it's possible to have the emotional tools/disposition to make it net positive

[Cipher @gremlinhat]

@isgoodactually @hot_cocoa_girl Sorry which of us are you talking about and what makes you feel like they're not self aware?

[Cipher @gremlinhat]

@hot_cocoa_girl For me there is extreme joy in my ability to fall into attunement and physical body interaction with someone I don't necessarily know that well (tho still preference for some rapport/comfort). Again it's like dance- better with closer people, but still fulfilling with strangers

[Cipher @gremlinhat]

@hot_cocoa_girl Eehh for me "poor imitation" points at the issue of people leaning on the same feelings of specialness and meaningfulness tso make it good, but not as effectively since it's not true. For me the joys of casual sex mostly don't come from that place at all

[Cipher @gremlinhat]

@hot_cocoa_girl Hmm maybe yes. Just another manifestation of shiny low commitment novelty chasing, really. Agree this can be a potential problem, but I still think it's not an inevitable one.

[Cipher @gremlinhat]

@hot_cocoa_girl Also I do think some women have more capacity for harmless slutting than others, and I do think there is a category of women who WANT to be casual sluts but don't actually have the disposition/skills for it, and harm themselves in trying to be something they're not

[Cipher @gremlinhat]

@hot_cocoa_girl Like I think it's reasonable to question others motivations for casual sex, bc sometimes it def is about insecurity or self harm. But also I think for many people casual sex genuinely is great, and questioning with curiosity rather than assumption/judgement would be better

[Cipher @gremlinhat]

@hot_cocoa_girl Definitely not just as fulfilling! I fully agree sex with someone I feel more emotionally intimate with is way better.

I mostly just object to the idea that there's ~nothing wholesomely/straightforwardly pleasant I could get out of a hookup.

[Cipher @gremlinhat]

@hot_cocoa_girl I don't really like the way you're assuming things about my experience.

Do you also feel this way about partner dance? I feel a lot of the things I get out of dance I also get out of sex, just sex has more of the erotic pleasure component.

[Cipher @gremlinhat]

@lulu_solomo Huh interesting. To me it seems obvious that masochism is part of the thing? Also idk I don't fully get the logic for distinguishing masochism as "its own thing" to the degree that it merits that kind of disclaimer?

[Cipher @gremlinhat]

@viceroy_gaga @paige_eden @davidandtheweb Much of this is not true. People were mostly not nude except in the hot tub, and no full sex (nothing beyond hands over clothes groping) happened in obviously visible areas. If you have to misrepresent the event to support your argument, maybe it's a bad argument

[Cipher @gremlinhat]

@moniza_hossain Your claim seemed to include fantasy/simulated gang rape, given that you pointed toward porn scenarios as an example. I think given that it's fair to say "actually this is a fantasy some women do enjoy/would enjoy living out in a controlled way"

[Cipher @gremlinhat]

@davidshimel @grnsleeves Strong endorse fusion and especially micro fusion for attunement/connection stuff!

And yep if you have good enough attunement/mechanics/creativity you can v much unlock new moves through intuition alone (tho learning technique absolutely does also help)

[Cipher @gremlinhat]

@rarestbarbie @ShadowyZephyr No sorry I think you're wrong about this and it's unkind of you to be snippy about it further down the thread. It's really not actually that hard to buy clothes without knowing/remembering measurements specifically, and really easy to not pay attention to the ratio