drt grl

I play drums for back alley baptism

[drt grl @gremlinraveyard]

💕 11/1/2018 - 1/18/2019 💕

[drt grl @gremlinraveyard]

the wrong fucking people are blessed with way too much fucking money

[drt grl @gremlinraveyard]

how the FUCK do you accidentally fly a helicopter into another is that shit fuckint REAL????

[drt grl @gremlinraveyard]

I don't know what the fuck to do with myself right now. I am utterly fucking powerless in this situation.

[drt grl @gremlinraveyard]

I can hear my aunt's family across our backyards. we used to live together. even more of my family lived together before that. now I hear her and her family nearby. echoes of the past. time is funny.

[drt grl @gremlinraveyard]

struggling with the fact that sometimes when there's a fork in the road, you don't get to understand or experience the outcome of what would happen if you made the other choice or compare it to the one you made.

[drt grl @gremlinraveyard]

I wish I was closer to my family. unfortunately, I'd have to be a different person for that to work peacefully. I wonder if the absence of a connection hurts more or less than what it takes for both parties to endure maintaining a connection. schroedinger's dysfunctional family.

[drt grl @gremlinraveyard]

she's never told them. she's never told them which sponge to use because they've probably never had to know. they will probably never need to know.
does any of that make sense? I don't know how to explain. this. i feel crazy and I'm sad but I hope it passes and doesn't keep 🪃

[drt grl @gremlinraveyard]

when I clean the bathroom, the blue sponge is for the sink and the shower. the green sponge is for the toilet and ONLY the toilet.
I know this. I've known this since I was tall enough to turn the faucet on by myself. my mom told me. she still tells me.
every single time she asks.

[drt grl @gremlinraveyard]

it doesn't matter that I know which is which and it hasn't changed in the entire time I've been alive.
the thing is
she never tells my younger (teen and adult) siblings which sponges to use. do they know which sponges to use? most likely not. I don't like that.

[drt grl @gremlinraveyard]

life is really, really unfair. the only option I have is to keep going in the hope of improving myself and my conditions.

[drt grl @gremlinraveyard]

mommy issues get so much worse when im shedding

[drt grl @gremlinraveyard]

a corn dog could heal me a lil bit rn

[drt grl @gremlinraveyard]

I want more mac n cheese... I don't want to make more mac n cheese ✨️

[drt grl @gremlinraveyard]

I don't strive to make my mom proud because that doesn't even feel sensical to me because I can't think of anything I could ever do that would even be noteworthy in her eyes or deserving praise

somehow I feel I know her better than anyone yet I'll never really know who she is

[drt grl @gremlinraveyard]

I don't know if I'll ever be able to fully come to terms with the fact that my mom doesn't like me and will never take delight in me being her daughter.

[drt grl @gremlinraveyard]

hm. need to read more. lowkey miss english classes for the essay prompts.

[drt grl @gremlinraveyard]

sometimes I wonder why some of my jokes dont land with certain ppl (boring) and then I remember not everyone has treatment resistant depression

[drt grl @gremlinraveyard]

what if I just said fuck it and bought a horse instead of a car

I live across from a farm, maybe they'd let me park it there

[drt grl @gremlinraveyard]

I will never understand ppl who ride for linkin park their music is mediocre and commercial as fuck how are you not hearing what im hearing you will never catch my ass bumping linkin fucking park fuck out my face