Gretchen E.

Explorer. Maker. Climber. Drawn to good design, game nights, rooftop patios, and people who get delightfully nerdy about niche subjects.

[Gretchen E. @gretchenegging]

before you get too far into the story, you really need to understand my baseline face for "we listen and we don't judge"

[Gretchen E. @gretchenegging]

if you ever need to get the ick for a man watch him run with his golf bag because he's late for his tee time

[Gretchen E. @gretchenegging]

how much is too much halloween candy before October?

[Gretchen E. @gretchenegging]

it should be mandatory for your mom to make your lunch until you're capable of making yourself a well balanced meal and, if that day never comes, so be it

[Scarlett Longstreet @ScarlettPosner]

You can pretend you don’t see me in the grocery store. We don’t have to do this.

[Gretchen E. @gretchenegging]

my most underrated skill is absolutely nailing the milk to cereal ratio so they run out on the same spoonful

[SNY Knicks @sny_knicks]

Jalen Brunson will be the first host on the upcoming new season of SNL, debuting on September 26 🍿

[Gretchen E. @gretchenegging]

timed my doordash to arrive 5 minutes after i got home from work. i feel invincible

[Gretchen E. @gretchenegging]

my toxic trait is if the car in front of me makes the light then so do i regardless of what color it is by the time i get there

[Gretchen E. @gretchenegging]

Whenever I send my mom a gif, she asks me to explain who the person is and what's happening. Please stop assigning homework to the vibe, man.

[Gretchen E. @gretchenegging]

@lucperkins Congrats! That's exciting!

[Gretchen E. @gretchenegging]

@lucperkins You hosting?

[Gretchen E. @gretchenegging]

Oh those poor global econ students

[CNN Breaking News @cnnbrk]

The Fed holds interest rates steady for fifth consecutive meeting as policymakers navigate an increasingly uncertain inflation picture. Follow live updates. https://t.co/TkWHq3Fu1D

[EMILY SUNDBERG @Emily_Sundberg]

i think it's amazing that a Cyclops can make feta

[Gretchen E. @gretchenegging]

Have you ever wanted to watch The Odyssey while getting punched in the back, splashed in the face, and fighting for your life like you're on an old Six Flags ride? Enjoy Regal 4DX's motion chairs.

[NEW YORK KNICKS @nyknicks]

nothin scarier than this 🫣

[Gretchen E. @gretchenegging]

yeah but even when life isn't perfect, it's still wonderful

[Gretchen E. @gretchenegging]

the fastest way to get over a guy is to see what makes him hit the heart button

[Gretchen E. @gretchenegging]

I've decided first dates should just be one person teaching the other something. you get to show off, I get a new life skill, everyone wins. this is me asking someone to teach me how to hard boil an egg.