carlos the dwarf

lost the plot she/her

[carlos the dwarf @groovydangles]

be a fucking hoe today if you wanna be https://t.co/RUpbMf12Qo

[Nate Valles @nateVgames_]

don't be a hoe today

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

what’s wrong babe, you’ve barely touched your reese’s ballsack

[Kelsey K 🌻 @KKerner24]

If your wife is in a deep depression & all you can think about is how you aren't getting laid, then marriage isn't for you. If your wife is having health problems & all you're worried about is you aren't getting laid, marriage isn't for you. 1/2

[hails @thehaileemurphy]

not surprised men think 54 seconds is a long time

[☔ @Whotfismick]

when my friends are trying to teach me the rules of a card game and I physically cannot listen

[Sweet N Sour @ailaghpailagh]

Masters acceptance, yay 🥹✨✨🤍

[carlos the dwarf @groovydangles]

@ailaghpailagh YAY CONGRATS!!!!!

[scumbag baby @tapptastical]

god forbid i rob a 7-11

[anna @twtrlssanna]

you got a fast car
i got a plan to get us out of here

[MEHMOONICrave @themehmooni]

Thank you large weather rat

[roro, PhD @fuglibetty]

holding an alt girl’s hair back while
she throws up and it’s like. Oh okay let me get all the layers. and this overgrown fringe. oh and the uneven front bits

[internet hall of fame @InternetH0F]

how is that not right??

[Momo 🇪🇨 🇵🇸 @LordMomos4]

Improved live laugh love just dropped

[☔ @Whotfismick]

Every time

[amber @dumbamber]

this is what my man sees before bed time

[niomi @82pondview]

just got back from my dr appointment and it didn’t go well… she prescribed me a 6 month stay by the sea for exhaustion and hysteria. i have to start packing my bags tonight

[clare @sadderlizards]

hey sorry for being so anxious earlier i had no idea everything would be fine

[Sweet N Sour @ailaghpailagh]

Feeling extra saucy tonight bc our new license plate is green n our car plugs in 😂

[Rumpleforeskin @SimplySarahSue3]

Sheryl crow: I was headed to church

6yr old me: I was off to drink you away