H

[H @grty86]

Do u thnk mr jobs was so obsesd w apples he set out 2change millions of yrs of evolution 2 turn hands in2 lookin like we're holdin an apple?

[H @grty86]

@NangWizard can you deliver some nangs to northcote before 9?

[H @grty86]

Lawwllll when ur test results get mailed to your ex and you make him open the envelope.

[H @grty86]

@ChrisHarrigans MMB. Sorry. At least 'hitler youth' isn't back...

[H @grty86]

I'm so cool that i thought the month on my phone said "cooltober"

[H @grty86]

Can u cal me at 7:30am & abuse me 4 stil being in bed. things like 'y arent u out of bed?!' 'Ffs u idiot u no u hav 2 b at work at 9, GET UP

[H @grty86]

"Unlesss someone punches me in the face, it's always five stars"
*what I said to uber driver as I slammed the door shut*

[H @grty86]

I can't believe my day started with a Pap smear and blood test.... and then, got so much worse 🤔

[H @grty86]

@ChrisHarrigans wait.I thought it ws weird they took a title already held by actual victims of the Bali judicial process. Budgie 9! Soz no 1

[H @grty86]

I can't wait to party with the Bali nine!! Yewwwwww those guys know how to have a fucking time .

[H @grty86]

@asthwaitesy no no no..... It looks more interesting. It may take the same amount of time mind you.

[H @grty86]

I feel like everyone's going down one path in life and I'm like, ooooh hey everyone! Look at this dark, scary shortcut. C'mon!!

[H @grty86]

Excuse me, where is your designer candy? *heidi walks into a lolly shop* I want flying saucers now bisch!

[H @grty86]

... Even tho I had four sticks of it in my bag as its all I use.

[H @grty86]

The ladies at the salon made a joke about using mabelline concealer &all laughed & I joined in & said 'totally'...

[H @grty86]

@ChrisHarrigans and there's another man to my left.

[H @grty86]

Never sit at a table for four if you are alone, otherwise you may well end up on an accidental lunch date with 3 men who sit around u 😳

[H @grty86]

@laura_cowabunga @ZacDavies @NangWizard I placed an order with Nang city last weekend ! They never showed up.

[H @grty86]

You can call me an alcoholic, but who doesn't feel better after a beer?? C'mon....

[H @grty86]

New record: I've embarrassed myself in TWO cinemas this week