Ben Gruber

[Ben Gruber @grubytues]

we’d all be in trouble if the phishers knew how to spell

[Ben Gruber @grubytues]

ran into @PokeyLaFarge at the park having lunch and he said there were still tix for his show in a few hrs. He didn’t mention that it would be $13 and the best show I’ve seen in years

[Ben Gruber @grubytues]

things with wings don’t belong in a cage #getadog #justimo

[Ben Gruber @grubytues]

my advent calendar has 2.5 servings per container and i feel called out

[Ben Gruber @grubytues]

Would you trade a skittle for an M&M? Is that fair?

[Ben Gruber @grubytues]

why do people need 3 auto insurance policies if they own 3 cars? It’s not like you can drive more than one at a time. Maybe in case you crash the one you’re driving into the two you’re not?

[Ben Gruber @grubytues]

if folks are cyclists for exercise, why do they spend so much on bikes that make it easier to go fast?

[Ben Gruber @grubytues]

what’s the difference between a nut and a seed? what is an acorn?

[Ben Gruber @grubytues]

yoo when linkin park said “ive become so numb”?? i didnt feel anything🔥

[Ben Gruber @grubytues]

whoever invented scalloped potatoes deserves a nobel prize

[T @tylerthecreator]

lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely lonely

[Ben Gruber @grubytues]

@AleDiazz yea i gotchu, DMs coming in hot

[Ben Gruber @grubytues]

but i like to think its just cute roleplay where one responds to the others ad in the paper for a one night stand and its not failed adultery

[Ben Gruber @grubytues]

yall the pina colada song is about a wife and husband both deciding to cheat and accidentally meeting eachother, that's so crummy

[Ben Gruber @grubytues]

i dont trust coworkers that type out "https://t.co/NuxyXlc7XL" instead of letting it autocomplete after the g o

[Ben Gruber @grubytues]

sotd https://t.co/taBda5KmFL

[Ben Gruber @grubytues]

@Kishi_bashi i too felt a sigh of relief when pluto was demoted, though accompanied by a dull pang of nostalgia

[Ben Gruber @grubytues]

whats up w all these brands marketing w sasquatches, does the squatch sell?

[Ben Gruber @grubytues]

dunno why im listening to the disney robin hood sountrack but its 100% oo de lally

[Ben Gruber @grubytues]

imma name my kids alice and bob so all the story problems they do will be about them