a lost fish

[a lost fish @grumbist]

if "bloody drongo" isnt a symptom of a serious medical condition maybe my doctor should stop writing it on his clipboard. stick to medicine

[a lost fish @grumbist]

[pushes glasses up so far my eyes bulge out &pulsate] using logic ive deduced that the article "Trump gulps fat turd" is satirical in nature

[a lost fish @grumbist]

local man's belief in god rekindled after his dick and ass inexplicably swap functions during freak simultaneous solar eclipse/thunderstorm

[a lost fish @grumbist]

a hot plate eh? probably ok to touc--aughh shit ow *composing myself, wiser now* Its actually insanely hot. that's where the name comes from

[a lost fish @grumbist]

Pompeii Museum

★☆☆☆☆

The 18+ area where they let you see the people who were jacking off before the eruption...disrespectful and ignorant

[a lost fish @grumbist]

my uncle, Crab Creekman would always say "a crab to grab is a crab that's fab!" and nothing else. he wasn't allowed in the house

[a lost fish @grumbist]

im a well-read dipshit who plans to name his kids "Armored Darkness" "Anguished Sycophant" or "Heaven's Folly" like they're ships from Halo

[a lost fish @grumbist]

hm, seems things are finally looking up for m *i stumble and fall ass first into an ancient tar pit and instantly barf everywhere on impact*

[a lost fish @grumbist]

1,000 parrots in a subterranean grotto mimicking each other for millennia until collectively they begin to sound like the true voice of god

[a lost fish @grumbist]

David Lynch's latest flick "Tits Of Misery" delays shooting again due to volcanoes, "Moon evil"(?), diarrhea

[a lost fish @grumbist]

overstimulated by the Suicide Squad trailer, my spherical gamer son has to be hosed down in the yard with cool water to return to baseline

[a lost fish @grumbist]

my 1 month old son Darth Bingo,, whom is real, upon seeing the racist visage of Bernie Sanders on TV: "i wish to see this man destroyed"

[a lost fish @grumbist]

ancestor in Sicily, 1850: *dies alone from dysentery after drinking out of a puddle*

me, 2016: theres a fucking, chemtrail in my lunchable

[a lost fish @grumbist]

grandfather, 1916: the Mafioso life has left me empty; a whisper of a man

me, 2016: i beat Dark Souls 3 on "Racist" difficulty and ive IBS

[a lost fish @grumbist]

Lunch/b'fast:👍

Brunch: False ideological construct. Dark Matter of Meal Universe. Nebulous;form beyond form. bastard meal. represents death

[a lost fish @grumbist]

*runs around city in bat costume like a dumbass*ah this causes me to think of society and. bad stuff in it. im gonna put a big gun on my car

[a lost fish @grumbist]

Purveyor of all things Geek-dom. 8-bit fanatic. Podcaster. STEM Master Race. Sarcasm is my blade, snark my shield. my son wont speak to me

[a lost fish @grumbist]

me, 2010: Reductionism is the praxis by which a populace is divided

2016: i just got suspended for DMing the word "horny" to a gulf war vet

[a lost fish @grumbist]

sorry i said you were "bad to the bone" after your Osteoporosis diagnosis but honestly your bones suck. whole skeleton's a shit show, bud

[a lost fish @grumbist]

*lying to impress a girl at the bar* yeah my dog is buried in the Pyramids. ive been pregnant like 85 times & ive never gone to the bathroom