The more you heal, the less your worth is tied to how others treat you, and the higher your standards for relationships will be. Lack of effort, bye. Bare minimum, bye. See you as low-hanging fruit, bye. Only show up when they need you, bye. Want you to fix what they broke, bye.
The older you get, the more you stay away from people who often confuse your free time with your availability. Family, friends, co-workers, and acquaintances included. You stop explaining or justifying your free time to them and start putting your foot down when they try you.
Refusing to hold space for toxic people, not letting them worm their way into your life, and radically accepting that they will play the victim to tell others that you have no empathy and are heartless is top-tier self-care.
Stop caring about takers' feelings. They're not angry because you said no; they're angry because they can't treat you like a doormat and take from you without consequences. Remember, you don't lose friends for saying no; they lose you for not having your best interests at heart.