Gregory Topscher

[Gregory Topscher @gtopscher]

“Shooting. Shining Borf beef-gin-nine-ing.” Hannah 12/31/24 (An improptu poem about our dinner)

[Gregory Topscher @gtopscher]

“I mean, if you don’t have to touch them, don’t.” -Va on testicles

[Gregory Topscher @gtopscher]

“Movies come with popcorn if you come with me.” -Hannah Debelius

[Gregory Topscher @gtopscher]

@earwolf more @threedomusa please! It’s the only reason to put up with Thursday.

[Gregory Topscher @gtopscher]

@Jeopardy Alex Trebek totally threw Lisa off with his extremely rude comment, and she STILL WON! #teamlisa #alextrebekisadick

[Gregory Topscher @gtopscher]

@AskCapitalOne can I access my business checking as well as my business CC on the app? (Only the CC comes up)

[Gregory Topscher @gtopscher]

Excellent moment today: walking through a locker room full of beefcakes blasting "Man! I feel like a Woman!" on my headphones.

[Gregory Topscher @gtopscher]

Pizza rats are too real!!!

[Gregory Topscher @gtopscher]

"What a fun, civic duty mission." -Hannah about public transportation

[Gregory Topscher @gtopscher]

Tonight the moon is a watermelon sourpatch

[Gregory Topscher @gtopscher]

On the advancement of temporary tattoo technology, "Can it make my peen green?" Greg Burns

[Gregory Topscher @gtopscher]

Bad music reviews are always just about the reviewer.

[Gregory Topscher @gtopscher]

Is the point of home reno shows to make me hate the homeowners and then feel jaded when they get a home that's nicer than they deserve?

[Gregory Topscher @gtopscher]

How I know my phone is funnier than me. It just coined the term 'heretical sext.'

[Gregory Topscher @gtopscher]

How I know I am smarter (or at least more mature) than my phone. It just tried to autocorrect sect to sext.

[Gregory Topscher @gtopscher]

Me: "It's amazing how little you reacted to that."
@VaNewt : "I'm used to suffocating on my own hair!"

[Gregory Topscher @gtopscher]

First coherent (?) thought of the day: "Moving day two, the struggle to not become your objects."

[Gregory Topscher @gtopscher]

Mom says the birds are pretty fat around here, so expect a frigid winter y'all. #birdwhisperer

[Gregory Topscher @gtopscher]

Mom, 2 Christmases ago. http://t.co/kexGeUdJ56

[Gregory Topscher @gtopscher]

In my heart, 2014 will always be the year when I told my mom how a duvet cover works.