Mary

I try to live by the 3 P’s: pigs, penguins, pizza

[Mary @guaca_mary]

Also La La Land is a bad movie okay bye!!

[Mary @guaca_mary]

Time to delete Twitter again bc I Have Plans here’s some 2021 goals
-get back to California
-read some gosh darn books
-stop taking money and life so seriously

[Mary @guaca_mary]

I thought about being responsible with my stimulus check but if the government is gonna be fucking stupid with our money then IM gonna be fucking stupid with my money

[Mary @guaca_mary]

@katiejkellerman @jenkayrod Say that to Brenda’s face Jenna!

[Mary @guaca_mary]

What if you named a dog Mooch. Mooch the Pooch

[Mary @guaca_mary]

@pant_leg Bloody Mary

[Mary @guaca_mary]

Me watching Mulan: when is Donnie Yen gonna show up
Me when Donnie Yen shows up: omg it’s Donnie Yen I love him!!

[Mary @guaca_mary]

Sometimes I forget my parents own a bowling alley and then I remember and think about how weird and random it is

[Mary @guaca_mary]

@vivianarenee_ 🤮🤮🤮

[Mary @guaca_mary]

The Selena series on Netflix is mostly making me hate Abraham

[Mary @guaca_mary]

Tori and I when Chris finally shows up

[Mary @guaca_mary]

Aww when the girl in Matamoros tells Suzette she wants to be a drummer 😭

[Mary @guaca_mary]

Grogu watching Ben become an angst ridden edgelord at the Jedi Praxeum

[Mary @guaca_mary]

BUT WHY IS IT NOT?? AQUA?? THE WATER BEARER?? Ridiculous

[adrian @astroIogee]

people who think astrology is fake also think aquarius is a water sign

[Mary @guaca_mary]

@CoachLMurph HAHAHAHAHA

[Mary @guaca_mary]

@CoachLMurph Lol why not??

[Mary @guaca_mary]

@cruz_t_cruz My sister does that too 🙄

[Mary @guaca_mary]

Why does Leia just let Han fall on the floor when she frees him from the carbonite? 💀