guarros

[guarros @guarros]

@CeeEmW ALL of my thoughts/good juju to you + yours.

[guarros @guarros]

@mandypoling @lpoling Try having your 9th grader & her FRIENDS troll your scores.

[guarros @guarros]

@LosFelizDaycare @mandypoling @mandypoling

[guarros @guarros]

Today is the first day since March 10, 2020 that our house is back to regular programming. Kids in school. Ball&chain working from the office.

[guarros @guarros]

I need a little less heat from the pediatrician office this AM. Ma'am, you can keep asking me to confirm when my kids were last seen but each & every time I'm going to meet your redundant passive aggressive tone with an exhausted: I have no idea, that's why I'm calling you.

[guarros @guarros]

Sure, my car / driveway / deck is covered in sht but she wanted to heard. She knew I needed it & now I can't help but smile as I face the sht ahead.

[guarros @guarros]

Grammy was the nicest person in the whole world. She was over the the top - ray of sunshine. She would clap hands & say happy day, happy day when she saw you. An angel of a human. She was extreme positivity. A burst of joy & love. We lost her in December.

[guarros @guarros]

A robin is a sign of hope, renewal, & rebirth. It symbolizes new beginnings & a sign of good things to come. A goldfinch signifies abundance & prosperity. It symbolizes the importance of positivity and optimism, & the value of happiness, joy, and simplicity in your life.

[guarros @guarros]

My car & driveway side / is covered in bird sht. Seriously. Does anyone know what I did to these birds?

[guarros @guarros]

Um. A bird just flew in my house.

[guarros @guarros]

The day has barely begun and already I’ve had to shoo a bird out of my minivan & clean up after he sht all over my steering wheel. Self, hold on tight. It’s going to be a DAY.

[guarros @guarros]

@AjoyMSP (knowing nod + post-vax hug to you)

[guarros @guarros]

I made part of Mother’s Day brunch. I make eggs the best, no use getting crappy brunch in the name of being treated to the day. JJ told me I would win cooking competitions on TV if the meal was breakfast. Then qualified w/ “Like a Nailed It.”

[guarros @guarros]

Meanwhile. I’m learning today that Tom Brady is no longer with the Patriots.

[Jim Gaffigan @JimGaffigan]

Like many parents I was forced to hold what felt like a press conference with my children because Republicans lunatics stormed the capitol. Congrats to @FoxNews on finally making it impossible to watch news with our parents and now our children.

[guarros @guarros]

@AjoyMSP I don’t know what harder. Teaching them. Or trying not to laugh as they nearly choke.

[guarros @guarros]

They brought the receipts. Listening for the politics news in the only way I can. Staying for the sound advice & inventions. ⁦@dumbgaypolitics⁩ https://t.co/LwXULrv4ie

[guarros @guarros]

If you know. Then you know.

[Michael Benjamin @mfbenji]

Trump’s leaked concession speech

[guarros @guarros]

@AjoyMSP What the actual hell.