yoko @gufrancozo - Twitter Profile

Update from Microsoft. Teams is down. Messages are delayed. Some aren't arriving at all. We're investigating. Investigating means the AI is investigating. The AI that wrote the code. That broke the code. That is now debugging the code. It's a closed loop. Very efficient. A user asked why their message didn't send. I said "we're observing recovery in our telemetry." They asked what that means. I don't know what that means. But the dashboard is green now. Green means fixed. Fixed means we changed the threshold for green. The messages are still delayed. But the dashboard doesn't know that. Dashboards don't use Teams. Someone on the infrastructure team tried to escalate. Via Teams. The escalation is still pending. Somewhere in the queue. With everyone else's messages. The irony wasn't lost on them. But the message was. We have a backup communication channel. It's email. Email is also having issues. Unrelated, obviously. The root cause is under analysis. Analysis means we asked the AI. The AI said "no issues detected." The AI wrote the detection system. It detects what it wants to detect. Very self-aware. Not in the good way. Last quarter I said 30% of our code is AI-written. Teams is closer to 45%. We were proud of that. Past tense. The AI optimized the message queue. It optimized it to zero. Zero messages. Zero latency. Technically correct. The best kind of correct. Enterprise customers are asking for an RCA. RCA means Root Cause Analysis. The root cause is velocity. We shipped faster than we understood. Understanding isn't in the OKRs. Shipping is. We shipped. Someone asked when Teams will be fixed. I said "we're continuing our analysis." Continuing means we started. Analysis means looking. Looking means hoping it fixes itself. It usually does. If you refresh enough. Refresh is the user's responsibility. We provide the experience. They provide the resilience. That's partnership. The outage started at 2:30 PM ET. Right before the holidays. Millions of workers couldn't message their teams. Some called it a disaster. I called it "an unplanned wellness moment." Productivity is a spectrum. We're exploring the lower end. The AI has proposed a fix. The fix requires a deployment. The deployment system uses Teams for notifications. The notifications are delayed. We're in a loop. The loop is also AI-designed. Very elegant. From a certain angle. Satya asked for a status update. I sent it via Teams. He hasn't responded. I assume he's thinking about it. The stock is up 2% today. Outages don't move markets. Narratives do. The narrative is "AI efficiency." The reality is "Teams is down." But reality isn't in the earnings call. The narrative is. We're committed to reliability. Reliability means it worked yesterday. Yesterday is our SLA. Thank you for your patience. Patience means you have no choice. We're in your enterprise agreement. For three more years. The circle of innovation continues.

gothburz's tweet photo. Update from Microsoft.

Teams is down.

Messages are delayed.

Some aren't arriving at all.

We're investigating.

Investigating means the AI is investigating.

The AI that wrote the code.

That broke the code.

That is now debugging the code.

It's a closed loop.

Very efficient.

A user asked why their message didn't send.

I said "we're observing recovery in our telemetry."

They asked what that means.

I don't know what that means.

But the dashboard is green now.

Green means fixed.

Fixed means we changed the threshold for green.

The messages are still delayed.

But the dashboard doesn't know that.

Dashboards don't use Teams.

Someone on the infrastructure team tried to escalate.

Via Teams.

The escalation is still pending.

Somewhere in the queue.

With everyone else's messages.

The irony wasn't lost on them.

But the message was.

We have a backup communication channel.

It's email.

Email is also having issues.

Unrelated, obviously.

The root cause is under analysis.

Analysis means we asked the AI.

The AI said "no issues detected."

The AI wrote the detection system.

It detects what it wants to detect.

Very self-aware.

Not in the good way.

Last quarter I said 30% of our code is AI-written.

Teams is closer to 45%.

We were proud of that.

Past tense.

The AI optimized the message queue.

It optimized it to zero.

Zero messages. Zero latency.

Technically correct.

The best kind of correct.

Enterprise customers are asking for an RCA.

RCA means Root Cause Analysis.

The root cause is velocity.

We shipped faster than we understood.

Understanding isn't in the OKRs.

Shipping is.

We shipped.

Someone asked when Teams will be fixed.

I said "we're continuing our analysis."

Continuing means we started.

Analysis means looking.

Looking means hoping it fixes itself.

It usually does.

If you refresh enough.

Refresh is the user's responsibility.

We provide the experience.

They provide the resilience.

That's partnership.

The outage started at 2:30 PM ET.

Right before the holidays.

Millions of workers couldn't message their teams.

Some called it a disaster.

I called it "an unplanned wellness moment."

Productivity is a spectrum.

We're exploring the lower end.

The AI has proposed a fix.

The fix requires a deployment.

The deployment system uses Teams for notifications.

The notifications are delayed.

We're in a loop.

The loop is also AI-designed.

Very elegant.

From a certain angle.

Satya asked for a status update.

I sent it via Teams.

He hasn't responded.

I assume he's thinking about it.

The stock is up 2% today.

Outages don't move markets.

Narratives do.

The narrative is "AI efficiency."

The reality is "Teams is down."

But reality isn't in the earnings call.

The narrative is.

We're committed to reliability.

Reliability means it worked yesterday.

Yesterday is our SLA.

Thank you for your patience.

Patience means you have no choice.

We're in your enterprise agreement.

For three more years.

The circle of innovation continues.

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FLADOIDOS @fladoidos

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Flamengo

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FLA DA DEPRESSÃO | Ruan

@_FlaDaDepressao

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