Julia Nelson

Take me as I am.. or watch me as I go.

[Julia Nelson @gulia17]

If your index toe crosses you big toe... cut your foot off.

[Julia Nelson @gulia17]

Definition of aphrodisiac(n.) = Spartacus.

[Julia Nelson @gulia17]

Lets be honest- the only reason I go on Twitter is to read @kellyoxford's tweets.

[Julia Nelson @gulia17]

Deb from Dexter makes my swearing problem okay.

[Julia Nelson @gulia17]

Mimosa day buzzzz and baking cookies? Yes please!

[Julia Nelson @gulia17]

Funny how the most religious people are the bitchiest. #hipocrite.

[Julia Nelson @gulia17]

I'd like to be getting pounded, but my boyfriend is pounding bullets into someone else.- #fuckgears

[Julia Nelson @gulia17]

#bootfetish... problem.

[Julia Nelson @gulia17]

ChefMate: The shittiest knives since ever.

[Julia Nelson @gulia17]

Jared Leto in a commercial. Never heard of Hugo for men, but I'm sold.

[Julia Nelson @gulia17]

Full box of Spongebob shapes mac and cheese consumed: Check. Uhhhhhh fail.

[Julia Nelson @gulia17]

Rain on my parade, bitch. Watch me dance in the puddles.

[Julia Nelson @gulia17]

If Jared Leto was a "real" person... nom..nom.

[Julia Nelson @gulia17]

@jturek20 You copy-catin' lil shit.

[Julia Nelson @gulia17]

If you want to know where your heart is... look where your mind goes when it wanders...

[Julia Nelson @gulia17]

New favorite word: CHUMP.

[Julia Nelson @gulia17]

Sweating should be a guys thing, you know like women bleed, men sweat. I really don't see the problem here.

[Julia Nelson @gulia17]

I want to be old and wrinkly as fuck. With tattoos. A LOT of em'. Nursing home whattt uppp.

[Julia Nelson @gulia17]

Brother goes: "A vagina is like a penis turned inside out, Julia."- Yep, you're def still a virgin.

[Julia Nelson @gulia17]

Today's irony: Broken down tow truck. Sucks to suck.