myfartyourhand

i ball fart @ballfartpod

[myfartyourhand @gunkforever]

if you give a mouse a cookie he’ll make that shit squirt

[myfartyourhand @gunkforever]

coming out as nonbinary to make my social circle smaller

[myfartyourhand @gunkforever]

reggie watts is evil in some sort of way. idk. there’s a pay wall.

[myfartyourhand @gunkforever]

just met the worlds first pervert

[myfartyourhand @gunkforever]

i used to let my butler wear whatever he wanted but he kept showing up with mickey ears and a harry potter robe

[myfartyourhand @gunkforever]

who tryna rub my piss dot to complete dryness?

[myfartyourhand @gunkforever]

The Freewheelin’ Turd Dylan

[myfartyourhand @gunkforever]

it sucks that when you go to the hospital because your finger is stuck in a fish, they immediately assume you’re being sexually evil

[myfartyourhand @gunkforever]

talking to someone in line for the bathroom is like talking to your fellow soldier before storming the beaches of normandy. one of us isn’t gonna make it

[myfartyourhand @gunkforever]

dung-hole williams

[myfartyourhand @gunkforever]

i’ve never heard of this woman in my life

[Variety @Variety]

Charlize Theron says "in 10 years," AI will be able to do Timothée Chalamet’s job as an actor, but it will never be able to replace live performance like ballet:

“Oh, boy, I hope I run into him one day. That was a very reckless comment on an art form, two art forms, that we need to lift up constantly because, yes, they do have a hard time. But in 10 years, AI is going to be able to do Timothée’s job, but it will not be able to replace a person on a stage dancing live.”
https://t.co/gzhJJvlbZ2

[myfartyourhand @gunkforever]

@bigtimesleuth yea

[myfartyourhand @gunkforever]

i’m the best to ever do it and no one cares

[Pop Base @PopBase]

Twitter turns 20.

What is your favorite tweet of all time?

[Jone @windbreakergod]

I wrote about standup comedy and now it’s in print.

[myfartyourhand @gunkforever]

this is just big time rush

[Mixy🪲 @meanmrpaul]

notice how george looks the same

[myfartyourhand @gunkforever]

stop touching her like that. you’re hurting her

[cinesthetic. @TheCinesthetic]

Sigourney Weaver’s boneless stunt double used for the Alien series.

[myfartyourhand @gunkforever]

@BUNNlCULA i have the exact same shirt and every time i wear it at least one person asks if the guys dick is out

[myfartyourhand @gunkforever]

sometimes it don’t tho

[Ⓜ️ert @mertcentury]

You gotta be nuts to add salt to something you ordered at a restaurant. I’m sure it’s got enough bro

[myfartyourhand @gunkforever]

gin and tonic is a horrible drink. i just had one and immediately my friend started bleeding from the ass and i had to drunk drive him to the hospital. also it tastes like shit

[myfartyourhand @gunkforever]

saw a guy with a long torso short legs and a fat ass. interesting build. we don’t talk about it enough