amber saleem

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[amber saleem @guria91]

Funny story 9/5
“My Daughter’s Music Lessons”

“My daughter’s music lessons are a fortune to me.”

“How is that?”

“They enabled me to buy the neighbours’ houses at half price”.

[amber saleem @guria91]

Funny story 5/5
How to live?

“Darling,” said the young man to his new bride. “Now that we are married, do you think you will be able to live on my modest income?” “Of course, dearest, no trouble,” she answered.

“But what will you live on?”

[amber saleem @guria91]

Funny story 4/5
The doctor asked the expectant father to try out a
machine he had invented that transferred labour
pains from the mother to the father. Billy agreed and
the machine was set up. But although it was set to its
highest setting, Billy felt not
a twinge.
Later that day he went home to pick up a few
items his wife wanted and discovered the milkman
lying on his door step groaning in pain.

[amber saleem @guria91]

Funny story 3/5
“Darling,” said the young man to his new bride. “Now that we are married, do you think you will be able to live on my modest income?” “Of course, dearest, no trouble,” she answered.

“But what will you live on?”

[amber saleem @guria91]

Funny story 29/4
Newsboy : "Great mystery! Fifty victims! Paper, mister ?"
Passerby : "Here boy, I'll take one" (After reading a moment) "Say, boy, there's nothing of the kind in this paper. Where is it ?"
Newsboy : "That's the mystery, sir. You're the fifty first victim".

[amber saleem @guria91]

Funny story 7/4
An English professor wrote the words, “Woman without her man is nothing” on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.

The men wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.”

The women wrote: “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.

[amber saleem @guria91]

Funny story 31/3
A man walked into the book shop and asked the book seller:
“ I want to buy a book named Man is the ruler of woman.”
“Fiction book are sold in the next room.”

[amber saleem @guria91]

@MargeAvila how are u today ???

[amber saleem @guria91]

Funny story 26/3
Artist: “That, sir, is a cow grazing”

Visitor: “Where is the grass?”

Artist: “The cow has eaten it”

Visitor: “But where is the cow?”

Artist: “You don’t suppose she’d be fool enough to stay there after she’d eaten all the grass, do you?”

[amber saleem @guria91]

@DvdPhilip how are u today

[amber saleem @guria91]

@BryanChung10895 Funny story, right :d :d

[amber saleem @guria91]

@GraceNGabbysMom Funny story, right?

[amber saleem @guria91]

Funny story 23/3
A stranger on horseback came to a river with which he was unfamiliar. The traveler asked a youngster if it was deep.

“No”, replied to the boy, and the rider started to cross, but soon found that he and his horse had to swim for their lives.

When the traveler reached the other side, he turned and shouted: “I thought you said it wasn’t deep?”

“It isn’t”, was the boy’s reply: “it only takes grandfather’s ducks up to their middles!”

[amber saleem @guria91]

Funny story 18/3
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer.

“This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks:

“Which do you want, son?”

The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber.

“That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.

“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied:

“Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”

[amber saleem @guria91]

@EcemKz have good meaning in life

[amber saleem @guria91]

Funny story 13/3
t’s game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. "No," says the neighbour. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbour says, "Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven’t been to together since we got married." "Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbour to take her seat?" The man shakes his head. "No," he says. "They’re all at the funeral."

[amber saleem @guria91]

@Nenalinda0413 A story that has meaning to your life

[amber saleem @guria91]

Funny story 10/3
Sid and Irv are business partners. They make a deal that whichever one dies first will contact the living one from the afterlife. So Irv dies. Sid doesn’t hear from him for about a year, figures there is no afterlife. Then one day he gets a call. It’s Irv. "So there is an afterlife! What’s it like?" Sid asks. "Well, I sleep very late. I get up, have a big breakfast. Then I have sex, lots of sex. Then I go back to sleep, but I get up for lunch, have a big lunch. Have some more sex, take a nap. Huge dinner. More sex. Go to sleep and wake up the next day." "Oh, my God," says Sid. "So that’s what heaven is like?" "Oh no," says Irv. "I’m not in heaven. I’m a bear in Yellowstone Park."

[amber saleem @guria91]

@lucca_bizordi That's great. Wishing you good profits

[amber saleem @guria91]

Do you invest your spare money in crypto? Let me know which coin you are holding

[amber saleem @guria91]

@asdssdd1 you hold btc or eth ?