gustavz

[gustavz @gustiviy]

@Huetoast

[gustavz @gustiviy]

Don't forget to stream "Rain On Me" so BTF@GS won't receive a GRAMMY! ❤️

[Cardi B @iamcardib]

I’m letting you know again.. stop playing with my kid btch.. you just mad cuz your son fav color is 5.. GET TF ON YOU CRACKHEAD

[Dantes @doaenel]

Seeing the positive response on my tweet yesterday brought me genuine joy.

There’s something that needs to be clarified, though;

My primary motivator for years was my insecurity.

I worked out because I wanted to look better than everyone,

I grinded league because I wanted to be better than everyone,

And I grinded streaming because I wanted to be more popular than everyone.

And while, for years, this did wonders on how much I was able to succeed, the truth is that I was left with a permanent impostor syndrome that made me feel like none of my successes were ever truly mine.

It felt like I was merely a video game character being incessantly upgraded.

Oftentimes, I’d spend hours at a time just gazing into my own reflection, asking myself who I really am and praying that I’d find the answer somewhere deep within my soul, thinking that my eyes would be the pathway to take me there.

And this, unfortunately, is the place where many of you also get lost.

You read everything I’ve written thus far and rather than treating it as the cautionary tale it is, you pose a question that renders everything meaningless.

“But Dantes, you made it. It’s easy for you to say ‘just dont act this way’ when you don’t have to anymore. What about those of us that haven’t?”

Let me explain something to you.

The underlying reasoning behind why you do something will not only completely warp your character, but also determine whether or not you’re setup for long-term success.

Everything that I’ve worked towards could’ve been worked on with the same fervor, but for completely different reasons.

- Rather than working out to impress girls and be more aesthetic than other men, I could’ve done it to challenge myself to hit new heights within my own body.

- Rather than grinding league to be higher elo than everyone else, I could’ve done it to see just how far I could take my own hard work in an area that I knew I wasn’t very naturally gifted in.

- Rather than grinding streaming to be more popular than everyone, I could’ve done it to see just how many people could resonate with me and be entertained by my personality.

That’s not to say that these factors weren’t at all present, in no small part they actually were;

But they were not my primary motivators.

And today, I’m paying the price for it.

After being able to experience genuine comfort and happiness within my marriage and my relationship leading up to it, I felt no urge to push myself.

For years now , as a result, my physique, rank, and position within the streaming scene have all either plateaued, stagnated, or dropped off.

So, what does this mean?

It means that a man who makes it the way I did is confronted with two options;

The first is to deny yourself the right of happiness.

To keep yourself incessantly insecure, hurting all those around you who try to get close including yourself so you can achieve enough material wealth until the day comes where you feel like you’re ‘set’ enough to finally heal.

The second is to reforge your mind.

To completely revamp and rework the way you view yourself, your surroundings, and your goals in a way that allows you to experience the happiness you deserve to experience and still striving for more.

When I was a lesser man, I’d choose the first option.

18 months ago, I chose the second.

It was one of the hardest choices I ever had to make that even to this day I still struggle to put into practice, but I know that when the day comes that I am able to fully recalibrate I’m set for a remaining lifetime of both success and happiness.

It is not admirable, nor should it even be acceptable to believe that suffering should be a daily constant in the life of someone who just wants to do better.

You do not deserve to feel let down by those you love.

You do not deserve to feel like a stranger in your own mind.

You do not deserve to feel lonely in a room full of people who care about you.

None of these feelings should be admired.

You do not deserve to hurt.

Funnily enough, many look down on women who do onlyfans because they give up pieces of their soul for material wealth, and yet those same people are willing to idolize men who do the same.

When driving down the highway of life the most important thing you can do is make sure the car you ride in always remains yours.

[gustavz @gustiviy]

X

[Hu Juan 安胡 @cerhujuan]

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