unfortunately i do love the trope of someone getting groomed when they‘re younger, becoming manipulative over time as a result, and then using that to influence and control the older person. reverse grooming, if you will.
By "masturbating," what I meant was that I was going to hammer nails into the palms of my hands and whip my back to share the same pain as Jesus Christ, seeing as I'm Catholic and that is all I need to do to satisfy myself, but I suppose people took this way differently.
i struggle to take pills and when i had to drink one i accidentally crunched on it while almost choking and it was the most gross. bitter flavor to ever go into my mouth