jackin guy

bladder relief specialist

[jackin guy @guy_jackin]

I’d say take a page out of my book but they’re all stuck together

[jackin guy @guy_jackin]

An “Indian’s dozen” is when you get gang raped by 13 men

[jackin guy @guy_jackin]

Standing on the other side of a glory hole and karate chopping the dicks in half

[jackin guy @guy_jackin]

Is this sunscreen or my son’s cream?

[jackin guy @guy_jackin]

I’m gonna uptown FUNK you UP, I say to my rape victim

[jackin guy @guy_jackin]

Didn’t jack off for a whole 8 hours and when I finally did I came like silly string all over my steering wheel

[jackin guy @guy_jackin]

Medieval times were great. So much piss and shit everywhere for the taking

[jackin guy @guy_jackin]

The only thing identical in taste to jack in the box is my buttery crack

[jackin guy @guy_jackin]

Last weekend I woke up naked in a cage under a spotlight. The lights then revealed Peter thief and his friends at a dialog retreat. They laughed at my small penis for 45 mins. Apparently this was part of a scheduled event

[jackin guy @guy_jackin]

David carradines shroud of turin was cum stained fishnets

[jackin guy @guy_jackin]

Fingering my butt until my own submission but today I’m not tapping out

[jackin guy @guy_jackin]

Listening to ZZ Top while I jump around my apartment with my dick in my hand, pushing over lamps and kicking my dog

[jackin guy @guy_jackin]

Standing in line at Mongolian grill waiting for the chef to cook up a bunch of afterbirth I found in a hospital dumpster

[jackin guy @guy_jackin]

Hearing the audience gasp as a beautiful gold ostrich egg crowns from my asshole and falls onto the stage. I bow. Curtains fall. Still the best in the game.

[jackin guy @guy_jackin]

Jacking off to my last supper for dogs painting

[jackin guy @guy_jackin]

They grew me in a lab to create the ultimate machine of masturbation.

But now their greatest creation has escaped and is on the run, pursued by a general who will stop at nothing to reclaim his investment. His weapon.

[jackin guy @guy_jackin]

Dating green flag: dog fur in her discharge

[jackin guy @guy_jackin]

The “headmaster” of my school actually wasn’t that good at head. But he did excel at threatening to kill my parents if I told anyone anything

[jackin guy @guy_jackin]

Your honor, I was merely a puppet in some sick game, puppeteered by an evil genius who wanted me to sniff dog vaginas at the park for his own devilish delights

[jackin guy @guy_jackin]

Sometimes I crush walnuts or shelled cashews in my sweaty greasy unwashed asscrack to delight the neighborhood immigrant children

[jackin guy @guy_jackin]

Screaming like a wild animal while they strap me down to a table to get me to stop jacking off for 5 minutes