Guy Sanderson

Husband, father, developer of evil robot army (um, don't tell anyone about that last bit)

[Guy Sanderson @guysanderson]

If I was a ninja, I would have a name spelled entirely with silent letters.

[Guy Sanderson @guysanderson]

Well, they should change the name of the school then, shouldn’t they?

[Guy Sanderson @guysanderson]

So this is a paradox - if a pear isn’t actually shaped like a pear, does that mean it’s gone pear-shaped?

[Guy Sanderson @guysanderson]

Economists debate whether the #coronavirus recession will be U, V or W shaped. I think it will be omega shaped - Ω - involving 2 short periods of time travel.

[Guy Sanderson @guysanderson]

A month ago, I was laughing at the Netflix show Doomsday Preppers. Now they’re all laughing at us from their bunkers ... if they haven’t died already from drinking their own pee
#coronavirus

[Guy Sanderson @guysanderson]

Don’t we all Baby, don’t we all ...

[Guy Sanderson @guysanderson]

What you say to your dog: I’m going to have a shower, I’ll be 10 minutes
What your dog thinks you said: I’m going away forever, and never ever coming back ever

[Guy Sanderson @guysanderson]

It is starting to become clear that the coronavirus panic has been instigated by a secretive international cartel of toilet paper manufacturers … #coronavirus #toiletpaper #doomsdaypoopers

[Guy Sanderson @guysanderson]

The difference between #Sydney and Singapore is that in Singapore this building is meant to be warped

[Guy Sanderson @guysanderson]

@MosmanCouncil hi there, general rubbish pickup was missed in Bloxsome Lane yesterday! Bins are still out

[Guy Sanderson @guysanderson]

In Kentucky, do they just call it FC?

[Guy Sanderson @guysanderson]

You know what? That song IS stuck inside my head #legomovie2

[Guy Sanderson @guysanderson]

Pro tip: if you take your lunch to work in the plastic bag that the hot cross buns came in, then your whole lunch smells like hot cross buns. Mmmmm 😋

[Guy Sanderson @guysanderson]

Friday fun maths quiz:
Q: Johnny has 12 Tupperware containers, and 12 lids. How many does he have to pull out of the drawer, without looking, to ensure a matching set?
A: trick question. None of the bloody lids match any of the bloody containers. AAAARRRGGGHH!! 😡

[Guy Sanderson @guysanderson]

Hey kids you’d better be good, otherwise Jesus won’t come down the chimney and give you presents #truemeaningofChristmas

[Guy Sanderson @guysanderson]

And so the huntsman becomes the hunted ...
Bad puns aside, it was a REALLY big spider

[Guy Sanderson @guysanderson]

@Unearthed_S @GameHaxe That's so cool Hugh!
Another winner from Couch Labs 🏆

[Guy Sanderson @guysanderson]

It's like there is an equilibrium of broken things in the universe (or in my house). You fix one thing, another one breaks to maintain the equilibrium. It's not possible to fix all the broken things at one time.

[Guy Sanderson @guysanderson]

Even road construction has become political now ... #midterms

[Guy Sanderson @guysanderson]

Lemon juice is good for a cold, right?
*adds slice of lemon to gin & tonic*

[Guy Sanderson @guysanderson]

Scooby Doo is actually a story of real estate investment. People using scary masks to buy low, sell high. Maybe there’s a tip there for millennials who can’t get on the property ladder ... #boo