Melinda Gwin

Classically educated religion, philosophy, and psychology nerd. Art/book lover. Cradle Catholic raised in the occult, reverting to my surprise. Queer/celibate.

[Vivian @suchnerve]

@bespinderella Because if we can fudge the numbers to make a few look like gods, why can’t we do the same to portray the many as worthy of care?

[Melinda Gwin @gwingrin]

@JoNExfundz Eh, for me it can be an authority issue.
If I don't understand why something should be done, it takes superhuman strength to get me to do it.
Doing things that seem absurd or counterproductive feels like lying to me; hate it, struggle to do it.
But knowing why helps with that.

[Melinda Gwin @gwingrin]

@notyetassigned @parakeetnebula I think this is it. Flying hurt me more the younger I was, and was only ever comfortable once I was fully grown.

[Melinda Gwin @gwingrin]

@made_in_cosmos Oh, it's huge. Modelling gets passed down through generations, and we're all giving and reading various social signals all the time.
Similarly, if we don't fit, we're told. That might be cruel, or it might be good-natured joshing, like my family calling me a 'city girl' as a kid.

[Melinda Gwin @gwingrin]

"I love you" as a whispered prayer.

[Melinda Gwin @gwingrin]

@xthemasterand Yes.
God can do both, as he does within the Trinity itself.

[Melinda Gwin @gwingrin]

@GOLDBABYO *slowblinks*
Lesson learned. Seek out autists and avoid neurotypical people. They will never like me.

[Melinda Gwin @gwingrin]

@Squeeze1i Go to groups and engage in activities centered around your special interests.

[Melinda Gwin @gwingrin]

@JoNExfundz Facts.
I homeschooled my kid specifically to prevent this.
He's *extremely* strange. But he's emotionally stable and mentally healthy.

[Melinda Gwin @gwingrin]

@xthemasterand It really is a gift. When combating social anxiety, they often tell you, "No one's looking! No one cares! Don't worry!" But if you're a reasonably attractive young woman, they DO look and they DO care.
Now that I'm older, I can schlub up and be invisible. Glad you enjoy it too.

[Melinda Gwin @gwingrin]

@xthemasterand @MbProfesora Honestly, after all the super-airbrushed and filtered skin in the media/online, I've been genuinely enjoying visible skin imperfections on myself and others for years now.
You look human. Humans are awesome.

[Melinda Gwin @gwingrin]

Rheumatois arthritis test came back. Negative. No one's surprised.

Lupus test hasn't come back yet.

But I was hospitalized for kidney pain and a UTI caught despite celibacy and OTT evacuative hygiene the same week as a breast cancer scare this month.

Might not be lupus. But...

[Melinda Gwin @gwingrin]

@xthemasterand That's the ideal, yes. But I don't think we're supposed to deny or ignore the emotions we have, either. We should just act despite them when good needs to be done.
And when we *can* act despite the fear, anyway; these things take practice to do consistently. God knows that.

[Melinda Gwin @gwingrin]

@whizzymcdizzy @DiaryofaSickGrl Zinc is definitely helping. Thanks for the tip!

[Melinda Gwin @gwingrin]

Just passed the sleep deprivation threshold where hallucinations start.
Figured that'd happen at some point today. Might go to bed early.

[Melinda Gwin @gwingrin]

Saw AI generated art.
My brain's response? "Generic."

Two beats later, I was giggling.

[Melinda Gwin @gwingrin]

@ThatGuyWhoSaysW Six of them, in this case.

[Melinda Gwin @gwingrin]

150/130 blood pressure today.
Well. That explains the shaking hands.
But not the rash or trouble breathing.
Testing for lupus and RA, the lupus being more likely. Looking into MCAS too, but I need a specialist for that.
These, we can test today.

[Melinda Gwin @gwingrin]

@ThatGuyWhoSaysW Not a problem. At all.

I like fighting.

[Melinda Gwin @gwingrin]

@ThatGuyWhoSaysW Could be. That's basically what MCAS is.
My most recent allergy blood test came back showing relatively few proper allergies, mind you. But that plus very frequent allergic reactions is characteristic of MCAS, in particular.
It's all autoimmune anyway, even ordinary allergies.

[Melinda Gwin @gwingrin]

@DiaryofaSickGrl They have to list it because we'd never know they cared about anyone remotely like Jesus otherwise.