I love how smart TVs allows my toddler to make in-app purchases within 5 seconds of picking up the remote and takes me 35 minutes to figure out how to cancel them.
In honor of Utah's birthday, I designed a collection of funny Utah-themed tees poking fun at life in the Beehive State.
They're only available on Amazon for a limited time, so don't wait too long to pick your favorite.
https://t.co/lgermzjkWv
Today a waitress thought my mother in law was my wife, my wife was my daughter, and my daughter was my granddaughter. I mean, I feel that old sometimes, but damn.
@ToddLlewellyn@gabegundy It’s from a backed up septic tank at the property we’re renting that hasn’t been pumped in 50+ years. Came up through two toilets, a tub and a shower. Still waiting on a crew to come assess the damage. Thinking I need a lawyer now just as much as I do cleaners.
Shameless plea: Taking my wife & daughter to their first @utahjazz game Friday. They’re from Bolivia and I got them hooked when we lived in South America. Now we’re here and beyond excited for their first game. Anyone have any connections to make it a special night? 🙏 #TakeNote
Building shelves in the garage today. Green Day’s ‘Time Of Your Life’ began playing and I got a splinter and dropped an F bomb at the exact same moment AND tone as Billy Joe Armstrong when he goofs up at the beginning of the song. I’m convinced we’re living in a simulation.