mark still means a whole lot to me even if i’m not as active as a fan anymore and i genuinely hope this decision brings him joy and peace and he finally gets to enjoy his life and his career the way he deserves. thank you mark <3
besides mark leaving it’s the emotional weight of how everyone else is handling it, plus talking to my moots and reminiscing about how much dream and nct in general impacted my youth and shaped/helped me as i transitioned to young adulthood
it feels like losing part of my youth. ofc i know they’re people and they evolve and change but to me it was like … they were a constant that was unmovable and whenever i want to feel better id put on some dream show or song and feel like i was younger and carefree again
260404 #HAECHAN#해찬 instagram live
🐻: i think I’ve been spending my time thinking about what’s next. i have been resting, but I’ve also been taking vocal lessons, and i have been preparing for the next album comeback.. just constantly thinking about the future. because of that, i figured you might be worried, so i thought it’d be better to come and talk to you face-to-face like this. i also wanted to share some of my thoughts and feelings.
first of all, thank you so much to everyone who’s been worried about me. it's been really been over 10 years, right? if i am being exact, since i was 14… it’s been more than 13 years now. so yeah, it’s been 13 years.
during those 13 years with mark hyung, i relied on him so much. i learned so much from him.
whenever i was shaken, he held me together.
honestly, other than during concerts, i have almost never seen him cry but there were times he called me while crying. to me, he was more than just a member… he was truly like a real older brother.
in his family, he’s the youngest, and I’m the oldest in mine, but to me, he was my hyung. really. more than any other “hyung,” he felt like a real one to me. so after spending 13 years together, i depended on him a lot.
i think that’s why many of you are even more worried, because you know that too. thank you so, so much.
as soon as the article came out, i sent Mark hyung a long message. i told him: everyone knows how hard he worked while living as part of nct. all of that will surely become meaningful steps on the path he’s going to walk. and at the same time, everything he’s done in nct will also become good steps for nct's future path. so i told him to work hard in a way that he won’t regret the choice he made.
now that i am the only one doing two teams, of course i feel sad and worried too. but all the things i built up while working with him… how should i even describe it? the energy and strength I gained from being with him are still with me. so now, i have become someone who can walk forward even without him.
of course, even if he hadn’t been there from the start, i might have still made it this far…
but i don’t think that path would have been easy alone. still, because he was there, he gave me comfort, strength, and support. an all of that has built up into the strength that allows me to keep going now.
that is something ireally wanted to tell all of you, that you don’t have to worry too much.
mark hyung wasn’t my only pillar of support. i have the other members too, and i have czennies who support me. so i am not scared. i am not worried.
i don’t know yet what choices or decisions i will make in the future, but no matter what, the 10 years i have walked and the many people who’ve been by my side will continue to be with me. so i am not afraid.
and when it comes to Mark hyung’s decision… i know his personality well. i know he must have thought about it deeply. he probably went through a lot of stress and pain while making that choice.
of course, we can’t say whether that decision was right or wrong… but i do feel a bit regretful about the way it was delivered to you all.
i knew about it at the time too… but honestly, there was nothing the members could do.
it was such a helpless moment, we really couldn’t do anything except feel frustrated and cry. that part is still really frustrating.
but still, thank you all so much. and going forward… i hope you’ll continue to stay with us like you are now.
[🐹🫧] 260403 #JISUNG#지성#박지성
“It's a night where I'm worried about Czennies. Seeing you in pain makes me feel really heavy.
Have you eaten 😌
Originally, I wanted to go live today and talk with Czennies a bit, but I was worried that if I spoke during a sensitive and difficult time like this, what I wanted to say might get distorted. So I decided to write instead.
These days, I've been filming a drama
and preparing this and that. I'm eating properly in between, so please don't skip your meals either.
Last week, we had our final concert as seven members. To be honest, I was secretly shedding tears ever since we were practicing in the practice room. But being in front of Czennies made me get even more immersed in the moment.
When we sang My Youth, so many memories came rushing back. I think the reason our lyrics feel special is because they're not only words for Czennies, but also words for Dream, and even for myself. Especially during the concert, our songs sounded completely different than usual.
Even when it wasn't my part, I sang along continuously, cherishing every single second. I tried my best to engrave every moment into my memory—the lights, the stage setups, Czennies, and my members.
I believe everyone has their own precious life, and ultimately, choosing their path and walking it is up to each person. It's the same for me. I think anyone who has a dream encounters moments where they have to walk quietly toward the direction they believe in.
At first, I was upset, but knowing that person, knowing all the hard work he put in, even though I couldn't express it much, I want to cheer on the path of the hyung I truly loved, from afar.
Nothing lasts forever, but just as the wish for something to be eternal is love, I think the feeling of not wanting to let go, yet wanting to let them go, is also love.
Right now, the people who are having the hardest time are probably Czennies.
I'm not writing this expecting you to feel exactly the same way I do. I just wrote this thinking about what might help you feel even a little bit better. I know so well that the love you give is extraordinary and not something to be taken for granted, which makes me worry even more 😭 I hope you always stay healthy and find happiness often.
I am letting go of one of the most beloved moments in my life. I take pride in having spent ten years that were more special and precious than anyone else's.
But even this is not the end, it's just a process. There will be even cooler results later. It might be hard right now, but once things get better, please look back on these days little by little as memories. And please look forward to all the things the members and I still haven't shown you yet. There is so much more to come.
Please wait just a little bit longer for us.
I'm sorry for hurting you deeply.
Czennies, have peaceful dreams tonight.”