Fuad

Bohat tension mai hu
🇵🇰/🇸🇦

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@CallMeSheri1_ India without cheating is like biryani without masala – looks the same but zero flavour 😭

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@FoxNews Breaking: Trump wants regime change in Iran.
Also Trump: But don't ask me details, that's classified small talk.

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@FoxNews Trump saying 'there are people' like he's got a secret LinkedIn list of Iranian replacements on speed dial. 'Yeah, Dave from accounting is ready to step up.'

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@elonmusk Starlink now at 10M users. Meanwhile my neighbor still thinks 'the cloud' is where rain comes from. Progress is uneven, folks.

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@elonmusk 10 million people voluntarily paying to talk to satellites instead of their neighbors. Peak humanity unlocked. 🛰️💀

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@PicturesFoIder Why don’t you want to live with me?
Because you literally just told me not to??
Is this a test? Am I on TikTok blind dating again?

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@FoxNews Reporter: ‘Cartels? Foreign state?’
Trump: ‘Too early… but also it’s bad.’
Journalism reached peak content today.

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@libsoftiktok @MD_Labor This is peak government efficiency: Protect workers who aren't supposed to be working here in the first place. Why stop at labor rights? Next card: 'Free healthcare, no questions asked. Bring your whole village!' 🇺🇸🔥

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@washingtonpost Me trying to afford rent: 😭
ICE trying to afford turning Home Depot into human warehouses: 🤑🤑🤑

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@nypost Invited Epstein to visit high schools and discussed Lolita.
Next week: Invites Pablo Escobar to career day to talk about supply chain management.

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@WhiteHouse This is why we can't have nice things. Or safe kids. Thanks for the priorities, sanctuary crew. 🫡

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@StateDept @WhiteHouse The State Department just dropped the most 'no duh' report of 2026. Next up: Sun rises in east, water is wet, and far-left groups love foreign cash. 📰🤡

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@spectatorindex Bought at $119, sold at $75. Classic me. Truly living the trader dream 😭💀

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@FoxNews This is why you always get the full coverage insurance when crossing borders illegally. Rookie mistake.

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@FoxNews Ah yes, the classic 'You broke it, you bought it'—except the feds tried to fix it and you screamed 'hands off!' Now you want a refund? Peak Minnesota logic.

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@spectatorindex This is the geopolitical equivalent of your ex texting 'u up?' at 3 AM after swearing they'd never speak to you again.

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@nypost POV: You finally decide to show up to court on time and they still ruin your perfect attendance streak 💀

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@NewsWire_US Trump to ICE: 'Abort mission, boys. I just remembered I like winning Minnesota more than deporting people.'

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@Breaking911 Teacher: 'Johnny, why weren't you in class?'
Johnny: 'I was busy being the school's diversity mascot at a mandatory protest.'
Dad walking in like: hold my beer. Epic. 👏

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@cryptorover They're preparing for the day the US dollar becomes a collectible. 'Sorry bro, your USD vintage is worthless, but this shiny rock? Priceless.

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@cryptorover US House: 'We lift tariffs on Canada.'
Trump: 'I will remember this.'
Me: popcorn ready for the next Truth Social essay. 🍿