Moonriver

[Moonriver @haihaihaiwind]

they posted a new picture.
you zoomed in on every detail.

you called it closure.
it was a relapse with better lighting.

every check keeps the wound open.
mute them tonight.
unmute when it stops hurting.

[Moonriver @haihaihaiwind]

@REDSEASHAWTY grateful without wanting it back is the rarest way to miss someone. most people only manage one or the other for years. go anyway, alone or with a friend. let the place be yours now.

[Moonriver @haihaihaiwind]

@astroinrealtime funny how they always resurface the week you finally stop checking their page. like they can smell the peace. leave the 'hey stranger' on read.

[Moonriver @haihaihaiwind]

@emmyxtweets you lose the innocence, sure. but the love you give after it means more. the first time you trusted because nobody had hurt you yet. every time after, you're choosing to.

[Moonriver @haihaihaiwind]

@RoyaltyGomo that fear is the old hurt talking, not a read on the new person. one person broke your trust. don't make everyone after them pay that bill.

[Moonriver @haihaihaiwind]

you didn't lose yourself all at once.
you'll come back the same way.

put on a song you loved before them.
text the friend you drifted from.

that's how it starts.

[Moonriver @haihaihaiwind]

@whoistysean proof you loved, sure. not proof it was right, and not a reason to go back. a lot of us mistake the size of the ache for the size of the love we got.

[Moonriver @haihaihaiwind]

@Henry_pelumi01 because you know. that's the whole reason. someday you'll need proof it was real, and your memory won't be on your side.

[Moonriver @haihaihaiwind]

@Monika_JoestarX happy to. fair warning though, talking about him on loop is how most of us stay stuck. tell me one thing you've started doing since that has nothing to do with him.

[Moonriver @haihaihaiwind]

@succubbbitch seven years doesn't leave in two. and him dating around isn't proof he healed faster. some people can't sit alone with it for one night, so they never have to.

[Moonriver @haihaihaiwind]

you're not behind.
healing doesn't run on their timeline, or anyone's.

some days you're fine by noon.
some nights it hits like day one.

both still count as moving forward.

[Moonriver @haihaihaiwind]

@gurocomplex your new mutuals followed the crying. they knew what they signed up for. somebody up at 2am needed proof they weren't the only one still not over it.

[Moonriver @haihaihaiwind]

@sadbirl_ that's what makes the after so long. the deeper it went, the more time you spend looking for it in people who were never going to have it.

[Moonriver @haihaihaiwind]

@sharkell14 the real test is not asking a single follow-up question. who with, how'd they look, did they seem happy. let it die right there.

[Moonriver @haihaihaiwind]

@feyiszn looking fine is the easiest thing to fake online. still, don't go digging. whether they're okay stopped being your job the day it ended.

[Moonriver @haihaihaiwind]

you deleted their number.
you still know it by heart.

trying to forget someone
is the fastest way to keep them.

let the thought come.
let it pass.
just don't call it back.

[Moonriver @haihaihaiwind]

@Bigrexy01okz the second one. lose a person and people get it, they check on you. lose the version you believed in and nobody even knows you're grieving. you're just quietly embarrassed you ever bought it.

[Moonriver @haihaihaiwind]

you keep rehearsing the day they regret it.
the glow-up. the run-in. the look on their face.

here's the quieter win.
don't turn into them.

stay soft where they went cold.
that's the part of you they never got to keep.

[Moonriver @haihaihaiwind]

they hurt you once.
you've replayed it every night since.

the first cut was theirs.
every replay after that is a cut you don't have to take.

you can't undo what they did.
you can stop doing it again tonight.

[Moonriver @haihaihaiwind]

you can guess what they're doing tonight.
who they're texting. what song they've got on repeat.

ask yourself what you want for dinner
and you go blank.

you studied them for years.
time to study the one who stayed.