Hailey Collier

Eclectic, electric. Play more Zeppelin.

[Hailey Collier @hailey_collier]

@casey_tilson Gotta bust out the chest bumps & noogies

[Hailey Collier @hailey_collier]

Instead of selective service for the military, we need to draft people into construction. All this roadwork would get done much faster if people had some skin in the game.

[Hailey Collier @hailey_collier]

Laughing really should burn way more calories

[Hailey Collier @hailey_collier]

Just gonna start Peaky over and pretend that wasn’t the ending 🫠

[Hailey Collier @hailey_collier]

I love everything Jason Bateman does, but it’s tough to watch him in sexual situations in this new show 😅

[Hailey Collier @hailey_collier]

Feeling your nipple cover slip off in public is the new sock slipping down in your shoe

[Hailey Collier @hailey_collier]

The fact that the 1920s drop waistline is trending tells me that a war on Big Ass™️ is on the horizon 😒

[Hailey Collier @hailey_collier]

My mom loves saying “long story short” after telling every single detail of the entire story

[Hailey Collier @hailey_collier]

“Do you have coke? Not the *sniff* kind. The drink kind”

[Hailey Collier @hailey_collier]

Nobody is more bold and confident than a man calling to say “you didn’t give me my assignment 😠” after just having ended the meeting during which you spoke at length about said assignment 🙃

[Hailey Collier @hailey_collier]

I need 10 more seasons of Ponies immediately

[Hailey Collier @hailey_collier]

Tried to make a healthy pasta dish with the devil’s yogurt aka cottage cheese. Spilled 2/3 of it all over the floor before I could get it into the oven 🙃 That was divine intervention if I’ve ever seen it

[Hailey Collier @hailey_collier]

@casey_tilson We’ve got to start filming you at all times

[Hailey Collier @hailey_collier]

If 2016 is back, I’m bringing my chokers & sock bun

[Hailey Collier @hailey_collier]

“You have to turn the flash on because I’m brown”

[Hailey Collier @hailey_collier]

Where’s the “tweet to close friends” option

[Hailey Collier @hailey_collier]

Days since I’ve accidentally replied “you too!” when someone tells me to enjoy my food: 0

[Hailey Collier @hailey_collier]

@casey_tilson He must’ve been youngish because if he was old, you would’ve cried and let him have your seat

[Hailey Collier @hailey_collier]

@casey_tilson Welcome back 🇺🇸

[Hailey Collier @hailey_collier]

“Rumspringa” -Casey referring to her time in Europe