mario

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[rax ‘levon honkers’ king @RaxKingIsDead]

me critiquing chefs on tv: i can't believe this stupid asshole forgot to deglaze his pan before adding his braising liquid
me preparing food at home: this is my beans and my rice. i like it because the beans has a bean flavor and the rice has a rice flavor

[mario @haimindra]

they need to bring back millsberry and they need to do it expeditiously

[mario @haimindra]

powerful things happening on my birthday ofc

[Pop Crave @PopCrave]

President Joe Biden has dropped from the presidential election.

[chatpile roan @chatpileroan]

social battery running out at the function, call that loosing my yappetite

[mario @haimindra]

people telling me my job is easy but i’ve spent 2 days trying to think of an IG caption and i’m going insane

[mario @haimindra]

the heat in my apt doesn’t go below 75 and idgaf what anyone says

[Kay @KaylarWill]

Bout to sleep like a baby !

[adán @Bleuberrydon]

Traveling and being a whore

[mario @haimindra]

2024 is the year of mistakes idgaf anymore

[mario @haimindra]

the most dangerous thing i could’ve done was add my credit card to my phone bc now it feels like a little game when i tap

[@dfarecs @lethalrejection]

dry january unless someone invites me out

[mario @haimindra]

my receding hairline begs to differ but i’ll be copping this title next year for sure

[The Independent @Independent]

Prince William named 'sexiest bald man of 2023' according to study https://t.co/OEM9n7eETL

[mario @haimindra]

literally never

[a @aallleeexxxxxx1]

we have to stop drinking alcohol you guys

[mario @haimindra]

there’s such a riveting interview happening at the table next to me in this coffee shop:

interviewer has an australian (?) accent and used to be the #1 employee for something offshore in the US

interviewee is 47 and from chicago and knows her old boss

[mario @haimindra]

how do i politely tell my coworker who DOESNT even follow me on instagram to stop DMing me memes - i have also never opened or replied to a single one so she’s get the hint and she still sends them to me

[mario @haimindra]

as someone who works in marketing I’m begging him to do this bc twitter has been the worst performing platform at every one of my jobs and I’ll finally have a legit reason to tell my boss we shouldn’t use it

[Variety @Variety]

Elon Musk Suggests He Will Charge All X/Twitter Users a Fee to Be on the Platform https://t.co/QNTQbuSyFa

[mario @haimindra]

i’m allowed to be late to any event bc i can do no wrong but as soon as somebody else is and makes me wait for them i immediately hate them

[mario @haimindra]

just shared my screen with my project manager and accidentally left my tab open that had my job searches lol whoops

[mario @haimindra]

people watching is a great activity until you’re at the gym and almost fall off the treadmill bc you’re trying to interpret what the juice head couple is trying to say to each other

[mario @haimindra]

morning texts from mom🥰🥰