Got any good jokes?

Word nerd, scamp. I serve content to the contentless. Opinions = mine; RTs = somebody else's. Awards eligible.

[Got any good jokes? @haldash]

If you are new to Twitter, this screengrab is everything you need to know.

[Ron Filipkowski @RonFilipkowski]

I think it is probably a bad idea to put clearly unhinged, angry psychopaths in federal law enforcement positions.

[Word On The Birds @WordOnTheBirds]

🚨 BREAKING: Roger Goodell bans blocking field goals after Eagles game

[Eagle Times @_EagleTimes]

Cinema.

[Got any good jokes? @haldash]

@kane @nytimes One took place in New York where the Times is based?

[Masih Alinejad @AlinejadMasih]

Horror in Tehran: I am furious, outrage and heartbroken to see how 14-year-old teenagers being savagely attacked by the morality police for not covering their hair. This video, released by a reformist website, coincides with the execution of a protester Reza Rasaei who stood against the murder of another girl Mahsa Amini by the morality police. The timing of this video’s release, while the execution goes unmentioned, has ignited anger among Iranians. The international community must amplify the voices of women who say no to the police and the gender apartheid regime, and of our brothers who are hanged for supporting us.
#UnitedAgainstGenderApartheid
#NoteToIslamicRepublic

[Got any good jokes? @haldash]

@jerseymikes when I put a nickname on the sub through the app, y'all should mark them. It doesn't matter how ridiculous they are

[🪴Laurie @Laurieluvsmolly]

My God! Six years to the day of the Parkland School shooting and now there’s a shooting at the Super Bowl Parade. THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN ANYWHERE ELSE, no matter how the guns were acquired or who got them, common sense gun laws are needed. #ChiefsParade

[NFL Memes @NFLMemes]

Who do the Dallas Cowboys play next week?

[Sunday Night Football on NBC @SNFonNBC]

Philly fans ready for the 49ers! 😂

(Via: @NBCS49ers)

[Got any good jokes? @haldash]

@pheaglescentral Buffalo moved up 2?

[Bussin' With The Boys @BussinWTB]

Eagles fans are DIFFERENT 😂😂😂

[Victor Williams @ThePhillyPod]

Jalen Hurts going WILD after Jake Elliott’s 59-yard FG 🤯

[philip lewis @Phil_Lewis_]

The car was traveling at a high rate of speed, trying to get around another vehicle, hits a median and goes airborne, according to a video from Niagara Falls

Fox News has walked back its reporting that it was a possible terrorist attack

[R A W S A L E R T S @rawsalerts]

🚨#BREAKING: New footage from the Rainbow Bridge in Niagara Falls, NY shows a vehicle going airborne before catching fire as officials are now retracting earlier statements suggesting a terrorist attack.

[FakeWIPCaller @FakeWIPCaller]

The Eagles beat the Chiefs because Taylor Swift is a distraction

[Hillel Fuld @HilzFuld]

As I repeat the mistake of scrolling through my X feed, it occurs to me that along with Hamas, one of the biggest problems that is adding fuel to this war are social media algorithms.

All I see is tragedy. All I see is bad news. All I see is antisemitism. All I see are mobs of Jew haters. It is depressing and dark.

This is what the algorithm shows me.

And guess what it shows my enemy. The exact opposite.

The algorithms are designed to keep us seeing what will make us most emotional and increase the chances of me posting my thoughts.

This is something bigger than this platform or that. It’s across the board.

I’m not saying that a change in any algorithm could bring peace, but it absolutely can impact the outcome of this war and every other war/conflict worldwide.

Just a thought.

[Yascha Mounk @Yascha_Mounk]

It’s not anti-Semitic to criticize the Israeli government.

It’s not anti-Semitic to put the current conflict in historical context.

It’s not anti-Semitic to mourn the death of Palestinian civilians.

But if you describe the slaughter of 1,400 civilians as “military action” or call for a ceasefire without mentioning the toddlers who are still in the clutches of a terrorist organization, people will rightly wonder why you don’t seem to give a single shit about the lives of innocent Jews.

[Shannon Watts @shannonrwatts]

It’s almost like giving people weapons of war and then putting them on the honor system isn’t working…

[Packy @packysmith]

The Magicians+Inception
Felix, an avid lucid dreamer, signs up for a campus sleep study where he learns the dream realm is an unstable and dangerous space. Here, he joins a coed group of psychic outcasts in tracking a rouge entity who’s stealing dreamers’ souls. #PitDark #YA #SFF

[Senator Chris Larson @SenChrisLarson]

1 in 5 Americans have had a family member killed by gun. With last night’s tragedy in Lewiston, Maine, the U.S. has suffered 565 mass shootings this year.

We cannot continue to accept mass shootings, gun suicides, accidental gun deaths, and other gun violence. #GunReformNow