Haley

[Haley @hale_storm26]

the next song drake comes out with is 100% going to have the line “we used to be social but now we distant” 😔

[ᜰ @socetyhatesjay]

never in my life have i heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume

[🪦🦇 @DEADMAN_pt3]

them crackas was in a different bag when they released “life is a highway”.

[bro @scrungeonmaster]

you can feed white people coleslaw out of your hand like they’re a wild horse

[will defries @willdefries]

espresso martinis have finally found a formidable opponent

[The Ginger Swindler @lilydsmith]

if RFK bans diet coke, i will make jan 6 look like a girl scout meeting.

[betitooo 🦦 @ghooostyy_]

Dont wanna go out… but theres a bartender out there who needs my 20% tip to feed his family

[Deterio 🦍🇵🇸🔻 @NxtDeterio]

gettin slapped on the back of the neck by the 18 inch sloppy shaboinger is NASTY work

[Pitbull @pitbull]

All my #PowerfulWomen, y'all deserve the throne. Keep your head up and stay strong daleee

[Andrew Lawrence @ndrew_lawrence]

when mom hands me a mimosa at 830 am christmas morning

[blue oyster clit @mcdonaldskhole]

getting wasted and commenting “nightmare blunt rotation” on everyone’s facebook family christmas photos

[Haley @hale_storm26]

Update: just spend an hour pinky promising him id connect to the aux at his funeral and lower him into his grave playing hotel California

[Haley @hale_storm26]

asked my dad his opinion on my outfit and I can’t believe I haven’t killed myself yet

[Haley @hale_storm26]

asked my dad his opinion on my outfit and I can’t believe I haven’t killed myself yet

[Boston 25 News @boston25]

‘Lifelong dream’: Mass. man gives out Market Basket chickens to trick-or-treaters on Halloween https://t.co/CpBoaYQAKN

[Ballington Knowledgeworth @NORTHTOWERCEO]

Don’t call me a crab but I ran with goons

[coolgirlonline @coolgirl0nline]

i get the same feeling looking at this as I imagine a religious person does looking at an image of Christ on the cross

[Haley @hale_storm26]

Lactose is actually intolerant to me

[Trixie Mattel™ @trixiemattel]

Me seeing a child:

[Dave Portnoy @stoolpresidente]

I WENT LIVE FOR THE ENDING