haley mistretta

help a girl pay for student loans venmo: @ haley-Mistretta

[haley mistretta @haley_mistretta]

@Jared_Carrabis my best friend lily was in a very serious car accident last weekend, that was left her in a coma. She is the biggest Red Sox fan I know . Below is the gofundme link for any expenses. #redsox https://t.co/HnJqaYctqQ

[kara @sloansavery]

i’m running the noah wyle emmy campaign like the navy

[Ally @ally_witham]

yankees suck

[Dr. Milfi @kerionmywayward]

Glen Powell is short for Gleneth Powelltrow

[Akilah Hughes @AkilahObviously]

They shoulda just done hot ones and whoever lived can have it

[Chris @iamchriscorooo]

It’s margarita degrees outside

[B.W. Carlin @BaileyCarlin]

“Ice and Spice, just how I like my margaritas! Ha, I’m Jason”

[Dan Kaufman @D_Kauf11]

Being in your mid to late twenties is just saying “I can’t drink like I used to man” and then proceeding to try to drink like I used to

[Clem 🏆 @TheClemReport]

Billy Madison after 6 beers:

[wengel @wengelll]

James Marsden first golden globe nomination for playing James Marsden

[liv @forcersei]

rosamund pike holding jacob elordi’s bath water candle 😭

[ver. @cryeyesviolet_]

he heard “when you think tim mcgraw i hope you think of me” and said fuck it i’m going to meet tim mcgraw

[haley mistretta @haley_mistretta]

@SalVulcano @tastebudspod Are you doing a meet and greet tomorrow at the Manchester Funny Bone??? My dad and I are going to the 7 pm show 🤠🤠🤠

[Zane Bearden @ZaneBearden]

me singing both parts to “picture” by sheryl crow and kid rock

[abdul 🌌📷 @Advil]

one of my fav tweets of all time. idk why i find it so funny but i think of it every single time i go to the beach now

[Dan Kaufman @D_Kauf11]

They need to start selling TUMS at bars

[Chris Distefano @chrisdcomedy]

Rhianna pregnant again? Hard to resist that ASAP cocky

[no context sitcoms ☮︎ 🍉 @oocsitcoms]

i understand her so much