It's so selfish to enter someone's life, see that they're a loving, cheerful, and good person, and decide to ruin their peace because you haven't dealt with your own issues. Leave people alone if you have no intention of showing up with sincerity.
The kindest thing you can do for yourself is to become a reader. Read the romance. Read the fantasy. Read the mystery. Read all kinds of literature. But never pick up a self-help book