Haley

NC girl in a DC world (she/her)

[Haley @haleygo7]

Update: went out, got a burger and two beers and had to come home due to heartburn I have been humbled by my own body

[Haley @haleygo7]

You know what it’s long past due for me to go out, get drunk and chain smoke while making shitty decisions who’s coming with

[Haley @haleygo7]

“Oh why don’t you go to rocket bar anymore?”

Idk cause I fell in love there and look for his face in every man sitting at the bar, it just a little much for a girl to handle

[Haley @haleygo7]

One old man asked me “so are you into politics like your dad?” And singlehandedly undid all the work I’d done to make myself a politically active person after the fucking hellscape that was my child and adolescenthood, so no, I’m not watching the debate.

[april ꕤ misses ari @lovednlost]

“this song is about joe” “this song is about matty” WRONG this song is about extreme manic depression and also sirius black

[kris🦋 @perfectlyfine89]

Help this is from a Police Department outside of KC 😂

[jess ⎕ @trumanpotb]

you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

[Haley @haleygo7]

TTPD is specifically for me, the girlie who lost her everloving shit over a rebound but was only mildly inconvenienced ending a 3 year relationship

[Haley @haleygo7]

3pm on a Friday and the client just said

“I know this is a philosophical question but we really do need to get a better understanding before moving forward”

Ma’am I can assure you, this is is a yes or no question please stop making my brain laffy taffy.

[Haley @haleygo7]

Oh my GOD I forgot all about the kingsman phase I had. Holy mother of god

[Haley @haleygo7]

Discovered I have been a card carrying member of AO3 for a whole decade and honestly I’m ready to embrace my status as a fandom hag living in the woods luring youngsters

[Jen Ramos 💃🏽 @itsJenRamos]

All emissions where the sperm was clearly not seeking an egg could be called reckless abandonment.

[Haley @haleygo7]

Am flabbergasted and also completely unsurprised we as a society have not figured this out yet

[Haley @haleygo7]

J: dune comes out soon!
Me: I know!! Do you know how I know it was -
J: zendaya at the premiere wearing a fashion show outfit from 1995?
Me: how did you know that have other bitches been talking to you about fashion shows

[Haley @haleygo7]

“You are so much more put together than both your parents”
It’s cool I’m crying now

[Haley @haleygo7]

Have been meaning to buy a new pair of gym sneakers and was fully planning on spending grown up money on some shoes but then I forgot myself and paid full price for a deck of tarot cards and lord knows i can’t spend that much money twice so. Sorry future gym me, I guess

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

it’s valid to not want kids. it’s also valid to not want a career. it’s valid to want a peaceful, child-free cabin in the woods where you make jam & never work again

[Haley @haleygo7]

I’ve seen Austin Butler and always had a meh feeling. Like sure I can see how people think he’s hot but didn’t do it for me.

Then I saw him in masters of air and immediately went oh shit I think I’m in love.

[Haley @haleygo7]

“She butters her bread on both sides” has to be the wildest way of expressing someone is well off financially I have EVER heard. I fucking love it

[Haley @haleygo7]

Arranging a day at the office and so far we have:
Me, who can access the building but not the elevator
My boss, who can use the elevator but cannot access the offices
My coworker, who can access none of them.

Killing it, y’all.