Haley

funnier on the internet

[Haley @haleymillet]

my biggest fear is people thinking i’m serious… like it’s all a gag. everything is a bit. take nothing seriously i don’t have a real personality

[Haley @haleymillet]

actors are just award winning liars and i fear we don’t talk about that enough

[Haley @haleymillet]

my advice to anyone seeking a tattoo smack dab on the radius of your right forearm: think of the .5 selfies that is all

[Haley @haleymillet]

ate like a princess today but will poop like a peasant tomorrow

[Haley @haleymillet]

the older i get the more enticing a lazy river sounds

[Haley @haleymillet]

i wish i was still cool and mysterious, but instead i’m passed out by 10pm and text my family group chat the price per gallon of gas and look forward to the discussion

[Haley @haleymillet]

best compliment i’ve ever received was when my grandma asked me what work i’ve had done on my face

[Haley @haleymillet]

when i die bury me in the fucking shade

[Haley @haleymillet]

“besides… i can’t do everything! well i can, but i don’t wanna”

[Haley @haleymillet]

elevator small talk is not for me x

[Haley @haleymillet]

i’d like to go on record by saying respectfully, im anti-piñata. children beating an object until the death. throwing bows at your cousins for a chance at a piece of candy. fathers left injured after the fatal swing of a toddler. tears are shed, heads are booped. end piñatas 2024

[Haley @haleymillet]

whoever’s been running squishmallows collab department needs a kiss on the forehead

[Haley @haleymillet]

i’ll know i’ve made it when i stop entering instagram giveaways

[Haley @haleymillet]

i have no clue what war is like but if it’s anything like that one scene in pearl harbor pt 2 count me OUT

[Haley @haleymillet]

good morning! is anyone mad at me?

[Haley @haleymillet]

who came in my closet and shrunk all of my clothes in the middle of the night? fess up and i won’t be mad i promise

[Haley @haleymillet]

if you don’t think math is red and science is green go ahead and unfollow

[Haley @haleymillet]

brat core

[CALL TO ACTIVISM @CalltoActivism]

HOLY MOLY. Kamala Harris just DESTROYED Donald Trump!!

This is FIRE. 🔥

[Haley @haleymillet]

sunday dates with ron, joann and michael 😍

[Haley @haleymillet]

imagine lululemon align bed sheets

[Haley @haleymillet]

the biggest scam in american history is the inability to stack coupons on the mcdonald’s app