haley

[haley @haleymschoff]

my twitter is basically a diary and only the strong can survive it

[haley @haleymschoff]

Manifesting that I see criss angel before he retires

[haley @haleymschoff]

pov: your retinal surgeon is elbow deep in your eyeball and I’m sexy & I know it by LMFAO plays on the surgery center radio

[haley @haleymschoff]

Me reading kingdom of the wicked vs me reading kingdom of the cursed @KerriManiscalco

[haley @haleymschoff]

I hope Corbin bleu is doing well

[haley @haleymschoff]

It’s such a sweet thing to see artists come from nothing and become huge. I remember when halsey was just a tumblr girly who wrote a song about harry styles and Taylor swift dating and now she’s considered mainstream music. Love to see it

[haley @haleymschoff]

I love all fire signs BUT something about sag’s tho

[haley @haleymschoff]

If y’all told me both Zayn AND Liam would be in the fifty shades soundtrack in 2015 I’d set you on fire for lying

[haley @haleymschoff]

Who the hell died and made you the king

[haley @haleymschoff]

@elana_zabar You did

[haley @haleymschoff]

The moment I knew I bagged a good man was when I showed him a video of me being cringey in 2011 with braces and acne and he said “you don’t look as ugly as you described” ty Timothy

[haley @haleymschoff]

Anyone else’s dog literally GAG themselves on their thigh?

[haley @haleymschoff]

I thought that you’d be here by now

[haley @haleymschoff]

Going through my notes and…

[haley @haleymschoff]

Come for me if you want but nicole scherzinger be dancing GOOFY in the pussycat dolls videos lmfaoooo I love it tho

[haley @haleymschoff]

@TheLastKingdom I’m being so for real about this. how old is uhtred supposed to be now 😂

[haley @haleymschoff]

Ronnie radke’s Twitter is the most entertaining thing rn

[haley @haleymschoff]

SAVIOR BLACK VEIL BRIDES

[the elder emo @theelderemox]

What sad song defined your middle school depression and why was it “Miserable At Best” by Mayday Parade

[haley @haleymschoff]

If there is any chance of frenemies coming back this tweet is evidence that I manifested it

[haley @haleymschoff]

it’s been over 2 years since Zayn released nobody is listening and I’m still not completely recovered

[haley @haleymschoff]

A patient told me I had beautiful skin today and the 14 year old pizza-face in me wanted to cry