Haley

illustrator & designer | she/her | mom

[Haley @haleyparramore]

In a series of unfortunate adulthood @jordon__matthew and I are texting about tax write offs.

In an exciting way.

[Haley @haleyparramore]

Also

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[Haley @haleyparramore]

Told my husband im going to need to up my therapy sessions because low waisted flare jeans are coming back

[Haley @haleyparramore]

I wait and wait and finally think it’s safe to get the pillows under my head perfectly fluffed and the pillow between my legs properly placed w/ my blankets perfectly covering me thinking my kid fell back asleep…then he starts meltdown crying.

Every time.

[Haley @haleyparramore]

The fact that this is now my risky behavior…lol Jesus Christ

[Haley @haleyparramore]

Sneaking into my kids room when he’s sleeping to turn the fan off so he doesn’t freeze and wake up but also doesn’t wake up to me sneaking in there is the ultimate risky behavior. One wrong floor board and it’s mission failed.

[Haley @haleyparramore]

Seeing that @plshireme666 is doing a comedy show is the best news I’ve heard in a while!!!!!!! If I was mentally stable enough to get an infant on a plane to CA we would be there

[Haley @haleyparramore]

Baby eyeballs on baby monitors…that’s what nightmares are made of

[Haley @haleyparramore]

We put august in this snowsuit thing last night and he made it to 3am when I finally went in because I had to make sure he was still breathing. I literally was convinced something was wrong with him because there’s no way He actually gave me 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep lmao

[Haley @haleyparramore]

Yaknow what’s insane is that I have not gotten more than 2 uninterrupted hours of sleep in the last two months. How the frick do we do it

[Haley @haleyparramore]

All these couples that seriously dance on tiktok together…..tom would never. I’d ask him and he’d think I was on crack but tbh I’m not sure even if he did it if I would ever be able to look at him the same again lmao

[Haley @haleyparramore]

Praying to the swaddle gods each time I try some new weird ass sleep sack/dress/swaddle on my kid to try and get him to sleep longer than an hour is my new hobby

[Haley @haleyparramore]

“🎤Smack my ass like a drummmmmm 🎶”—me to my husband anytime he does a night feeding

[Haley @haleyparramore]

The number of times a day I quote “stormi you’re just like mommy babyyyyy” to August after he just did something psychotic like cry so much I have to blow in his face to breathe is alarming. It’s not funny. But it is.

[Haley @haleyparramore]

@JacobLinkous 👀👀👀👀

[Haley @haleyparramore]

i. e. “How to get boogers out of baby’s nose”

[Haley @haleyparramore]

If people saw the baby-related questions I Google daily, the hospital would not have let us take our child home lmao

[Haley @haleyparramore]

@Mel_B104 He’s the second dad we all didn’t know we needed

[Haley @haleyparramore]

Hey @tju13 wanna watch a movie tonight #hatemyself