lauren

every you and every me

[lauren @halfbones]

we met our adoption home worker yesterday
things are getting very real

[lauren @halfbones]

it’s jeans weather outside 😈

[lauren @halfbones]

“she was bi curious. in other words she was thinkin about it”

[lauren @halfbones]

i’m about to crash out over this anniversary party

[lauren @halfbones]

so it looks like we’ll be doing 14 day placements

[lauren @halfbones]

i HATE goodwill auction items… like fuck you why is this even a thing? i know people who actively bid on shit but it just doesn’t vibe with me
even the non auction items are priced too high

[lauren @halfbones]

today i want to throw shit

[lauren @halfbones]

“whomever shit pipe this is i’m on my way with it right now”
is never going to leave my brain

[lauren @halfbones]

@discogatorade oooooih

[lauren @halfbones]

just thinking of all the needless procedures i want done to have done on my face

[lauren @halfbones]

this johannesburg shit is wild

[lauren @halfbones]

lemme tell you what i think about froggggg spit

i’m for it

[lauren @halfbones]

if i can successfully force myself to go to the gym regularly for 6 months i am going to get a blepharoplasty consultation

[lauren @halfbones]

WHY is this $50? i’m just trying to be nostalgic and wash my hair come on

[lauren @halfbones]

his new habit is to put his foot on my finger like we are holding hands

[Tara @taraisredacted]

If I was Ed Sheeran I’d go into hiding at this point

This video’s already got almost 600k likes in 7 hours on TikTok 😂

[lauren @halfbones]

yesterday i called my lizards name and he came running up into my lap
thought it was just funny timing but he did it again today!!!

[lauren @halfbones]

extending an olive branch dressed as a 6 pack of sprite zero

[lauren @halfbones]

cop measuring roughly 2 foot zero inches screaming at people like it’s their fault he’s the size of tweety bird

[lauren @halfbones]

do i add more tattoos to my palms or am i a little bitch