Gag Halfrund

Blundering through life providing slapdash pre-hospital care to the old, ill and terminally stupid... i have snapchat @ Halfrund My pics will be of food.

[Gag Halfrund @halfrund]

I've been at work 30 minutes and already had enough.
Tired does not cover it 😴

[Gag Halfrund @halfrund]

@hllywdhsslhff 20g? Pussy... 😜
Not good for fluids either!

[Gag Halfrund @halfrund]

Amazing photography skills again!

[Den Of Geek UK @denofgeek]

What's new on Netflix UK in January 2018? https://t.co/cXJzGWwsxc

[Shit Jokes @ShitJokes]

Woman: Does Viagra work?

Pharmacist: Yes

Woman: Can you get it over the counter?

Pharmacist: Yes if I take two

[Ryan Coomes @chryco4]

BREAKING: An early title has been leaked for the Obi-Wan Kenobi spinoff film recently announced to be in development.

[Jon Pigeon @PigeonJon]

Be Ready lads, in about a month Trump will have Hired and Fired every human on the Planet and he'll have to start employing Fucking Pigeons.

[Gag Halfrund @halfrund]

I've just been to a patient who has called for a problem they've had since 1995...
😳

[Jon Pigeon @PigeonJon]

I was getting excited about the start of the New Football Season and then I remembered I am a Fucking Pigeon with no Concept of Football.

[Gag Halfrund @halfrund]

I choose a path of light! #WhiteHat @NOWTV #Westworld https://t.co/5zHuB4U0ec

[Gag Halfrund @halfrund]

I've just accidentally eaten an entire bag of haribo...
Whoops

[Gag Halfrund @halfrund]

@SarahSakamcb Looking amazing!

[Gag Halfrund @halfrund]

@forest_fr1ends I've had a call similar to this..
Apparently there is a limit to how much narc you can give 😂
If I get another, I'll be visualising cats

[Shit Jokes @ShitJokes]

I saw a dyslexic Yorkshire man the other day.

He was wearing a cat flap.

#YorkshireDay

[Gag Halfrund @halfrund]

@PetPixiePet Hey you!! New venture to add to the portfolio?

[Gag Halfrund @halfrund]

Something has just made a god awful noise outside the window 😳😳

[Mark Hamill @MarkHamill]

Went to play Yahtzee this morning & THIS happened! #StillDuelingDadVader

[Shit Jokes @ShitJokes]

My kids think I'm uncool and I don't know who Professor Green is.

Stupid little brats, I was playing Cluedo before they were even born!

[Jon Pigeon @PigeonJon]

If you Do Not like Listening to Ed Sheeran at Glastonbury, Do Not listen to Ed Sheeran at Glastonbury.

Ed Sheeran advice there.

[Gag Halfrund @halfrund]

@GetYourBoo Always sucks you in 😂😂