Mackenzie🌿☁️

[Matt Margolis @ItsMattsLaw]

(OSHA inspector walking into Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory) what the fuck

[b. @oc3ansluut]

She’s a 10 but she gets EXTREMELY irritable and hostile when she’s overstimulated.

She is me.

[ver0nica @soitfuckingoes]

god forbid women have hobbies

[Brojack @dontwannashar3]

When Taylor first announced that she will be re-recording her albums to gain ownership of her art, Scott Borchetta had made a lame cryptic statement about how original masterpieces can never be substituted. Yet today Taylor has not only bettered the original but also outsold it. How does the massive L feel @scottborchetta ?

[Jason Kelce @JasonKelce]

Mom, you don’t have to bring cookies everywhere you go @dkelce1 @TODAYshow

[Professor Switch @unluckybutter3]

Being cheap, I decided to let the premium Disney+ go and just have the one with ads. (I never even knew the shit was premium in the first place 🤦🏾‍♀️)

Well, I didn’t discuss this with the 5 year old. And he ain’t ever watched shit with an ad in his life. (He systematically skips them on YouTube.)

Well, while watching Wreck It Ralph, one just came on in the middle of the movie, and this lil boy said VERY clearly, without missing a beat, “what the fuck is this?” 😳

I think I owe him an ass whooping but, I too, wondered what the fuck is this…considering I JUST changed the damn plan last night lol they ain’t even give it to the end of the billing cycle!?!

[Vinny Thomas @vinn_ayy]

I think canceling a show after a cliffhanger should carry some light jail time.

[Jason Kelce @JasonKelce]

I also have a superstar in my corner. @JakeStateFarm

[bug girl @buggirl]

boy math is saying women are too emotional for positions of power and then punching holes in walls when ur mad

[Travis Kelce @tkelce]

@FirstTake @mcuban @mcuban Just sign me to a ten day! 😎

[tia @cursedhive]

not picture me thick as thieves with your ex wife

[SheRatesDogs @SheRatesDogs]

Levelheaded reaction 💜

[Grace @gracecamille_]

i HATE when someone is a fraternal twin bc it is so obvious that one of them got more nutrients in the womb and what… I’m supposed to not notice that ????

[i like food @messedupfoods]

guy dinner