🐺🌲Bruce🌲🐺

“His last name is Christ. He has the power of flight. He can heal leopards.” - Michael Scott

[Cookie Monster @MeCookieMonster]

Elmo teach me not to eat trophy. Me teach Elmo to pick a team. 💙🧡

[soy @soygIaze]

yeah i can’t not root for KAT

[Andy Bailey @AndrewDBailey]

Karl-Anthony Towns finished the playoffs with averages of 15.9 points, 10.6 rebounds, 4.9 assists, 1.3 blocks and 1.3 steals in 30.4 minutes, while shooting 45.6 percent from three.

His +258 plus-minus for the playoffs is the highest single-postseason plus-minus on record.

[Phil Mackey 🎙 @PhilMackey]

The Seahawks and Knicks both winning titles within a 6-month span is perhaps the most Minnesota sports thing in the history of Minnesota sports

[Rodger Sherman @rodger]

If you’re a fan of a sports team
A good team
A bad team
A team that can’t get out of their own way
A team that seems like god has cursed them
Keep being a fan of that team
Keep being a fan of that team
Keep being a fan of that team

I love you all have a great night

[Kyle Theige @KyleTheige]

Karl-Anthony Towns getting a ring before Jimmy Butler brings me great joy.

Congrats KAT.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

Stateside, a gas station. I drank a frozen blue beverage too quickly, and was struck down by a punishment this entire nation knows, and accepts, and has named.

The drink is called a slush. Ice, sweetness, and a blue that does not occur in nature. The day was hot. I was thirsty. I drank like a soldier at a river.

The pain arrived in my skull like a war horn.

Behind the eyes. Above everything. Total. I gripped the roof of my car. I may have made a sound.

"Brain freeze," said the cashier through the door, with no urgency whatsoever.

It has a NAME. The affliction is so common it has a household name, like a cousin.

"Tongue on the roof of your mouth," called a man at the pumps. He did not look over. He prescribed the remedy mid-pump, casually, the way one mentions weather.

I pressed my tongue to the roof of my mouth. The war horn faded. The healer nodded at his pump, finished, and was gone in a Chevrolet.

In my land, punishment follows crime by way of courts and seasons. Here, the sentence is instant. Drink with greed, and the ice strikes the mind directly. No trial. No appeal. Perfectly fair.

And here is what moves me. EVERYONE has felt it. The cashier. The healer. Children. Elders. An entire nation united by the same small lightning, all taught the same cure, all passing it on to strangers at gas stations, free of charge.

You cannot fully distrust a country once you know it shares one pain.

The freeze does not punish thirst. It punishes haste.

I finished the slush slowly, like a scholar. Blue tongue. Clear mind.

Then at the door I forgot everything, drank deeply, and was struck down again.

"Tongue, hon," said the cashier, without looking up.

Discipline is a journey.

[Jon Krawczynski @JonKrawczynski]

Karl-Anthony Towns: NBA champion.

[James Talarico @jamestalarico]

For decades, Dan Patrick has sold out the poor, the sick, and the vulnerable to enrich his donors.

Love feels like blasphemy when you worship power.

[Bruce Arthur @bruce_arthur]

They ejected him from the course mid-round, stripped him of his membership, and took his pictures off the wall.

[Crazy Stats @NBAcrazystats]

Last night, Karl-Anthony Towns recorded his 18th consecutive game with a positive plus-minus. It is the longest such streak in the postseason since the @NBA began tracking play-by-play data in 1997.

[🐺🌲Bruce🌲🐺 @halstengarden]

@WorldWideWob I’ve seen Hand of OG, that’s pretty good

[🐺🌲Bruce🌲🐺 @halstengarden]

Gotta spin it with the butterfly effect. The reason they won is *because* they left. Otherwise he’ll never live it down.

[Rebecca @RebeccaChasen]

That father is gonna spend the rest of his life explaining to his son why he made them leave early

[The California Refugee @NewsomRefugee]

this is why our politics is so fucking stupid now. it's absolutely dolan's fault. dolan requested a permit of nearly 1000 fans. mamdani and nypd grant it. create a process to ensure safety. they do. dolan cancels it. then goes on media tour to blame mamdani and nypd.

[Dan Amira @DanAmira]

My mayor Muslim

My bagel Jewish

My stepfather once told me that if I ever told anyone that I saw him holding hands with his executive assistant Gary at the Cinnabon two towns over he’d dig a hole in the backyard and bury me alive

Knicks in five

[Andrew Kuo @earlboykins]

The MSG Corporation doesn't pay property taxes, chased away viewing parties and is now fighting with the mayor, while gathering biometric data from its fans to weaponize or sell at a later date.

[dank @cptdankkk]

Jeremy Lin reveals he tried to reject the Rockets' $29,000,000 offer and would have taken significantly less to stay with the Knicks

“I was crushed and my agent is telling me, ‘Be prepared that they won't match.’ And I'm like, ‘There's no way. There's no way. I got to go back to New York’”

“They could have offered me three years, $9 million, but there wasn't even that offer on the table. And when the Rockets offer came in, the first question I asked my agent is, ‘Are the Knicks going to match this?’”

“I was like, ‘Can you go back to the Rockets and tell them we won't accept this offer? We only want a lower offer.’ I tried to take less. I was trying to sabotage the Rockets offer.”

“I remember it vividly. I call my agent back and I'm like, ‘Okay, the offer came through. No, we have to get a less lucrative offer because I got to go back to New York’”

“Finally I'm like, ‘Can we just not accept their offer?’ And he's like, ‘No, we can't not accept their offer because the Knicks refuse to give us any offer. You have zero offers on the table. You have one offer and you have to accept it and leave it to the Knicks to match or not’”

“It was kind of difficult to see that people thought I willingly left the Knicks or did it for the money or whatever. I would have played for significantly less if that meant staying with the Knicks because my heart was always here”

[sean yoo @SeanYoo]

not enough credit is going to wu tang clan. they performed at half and propelled this comeback. they deserve a ring.

[Cameron 🇺🇸 🗽🦅 @CameronCorduroy]

the most sophisticated election fraud operation in American history was carried about by Donald Trump in 2020 when he coordinated across multiple states to submit fraudulent Electoral College votes to Congress in an attempt to overturn or stall the certification of results

[ArtButMakeItSports @ArtButSports]

Cast of Laocoön and his Sons (Roman version of a lost Greek original), 100BC-50AD