fiona

business account. dandy mott’s best friend. WELCOME TO YOUR NIGHTMARE

[fiona @hamhamslut]

yes i do the cooking yes i do the cleaning

[️sof @sodazerosugar]

when my hair is unwashed i feel like killing people

[via @atrophicbtrfly]

i would pay so much money to never hear about AI or weight loss drugs ever again

[matt @mattybtweets69]

I used to fear the black mold in my apartment bathroom but now I understand it. It’s here to help me. It’s here to make me feel good.

[very baller cash money normal sane person @normal_ballerz]

glass of fucking water i love you so goddamn much . Thank you Glass of Water.

[hope hopes hoping @hopes_revenge]

modern life lacks meaning and purpose

[fiona @hamhamslut]

@kirawontmiss literally dont gaf at all he’s a shit human being . kids would have grown up to be fucked up and the wife is probs a victim . “he is human lalalalala” not to me that man doesn’t have a soul

[hope hopes hoping @hopes_revenge]

this means so much to us small accounts 🙏

[fiona @hamhamslut]

meow

[fiona @hamhamslut]

you’ve never met an optimistic pessimistic bitch like me

[fiona @hamhamslut]

procrastination is the one craft i have perfected

[fiona @hamhamslut]

and for my next trick i am going to implode NOT explode

[fiona @hamhamslut]

falling victim to capitalism once again . working 24/7 so that i cannot form a single thought 🌈🌴

[fiona @hamhamslut]

binge drinking on the spectrum

[fiona @hamhamslut]

im going to start only going on dates in this exact bowling alley #ihatemybf

[fiona @hamhamslut]

i actually did fall victim to the vapes and the fun fruity flavors like i manned up for the winter with cigarettes and now for summer im back to my emotional support geek like yes i constantly need dopamine

[fiona @hamhamslut]

putting myself to bed

[fiona @hamhamslut]

yeah i just cant compare to hamhamslut prime this is hard but omg i think someone is knocking on the window im not even joking im getting so scared

[fiona @hamhamslut]

film is actually crazy when you think about it like im literally watching an actress reciting a script. in an outfit that was perfectly thought out . it’s like intense manipulation. people fall victim to it. like leaving hate comments on a celebs post mistaking them for character

[fiona @hamhamslut]

jello is actually a really good substance to bathe in i think like when i truly think about it

[fiona @hamhamslut]

i fear my strategy failed i cant seem to write coherently . found a draft that said “when my dogs die inject with w enthusiasm” like no baby not quite ! euthanasia ! but i keep mixing the two now . also rip dino my love