Haymaker

If I was clever, I would write something here.

[Haymaker @hamtruths]

@AdamSchefter I should have been a Cowboy. I should have learned to rope and ride.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A breakfast counter. The waitress recommended the biscuits and gravy, and when the plate arrived, I thought something had gone wrong in the kitchen.

I say this with shame. The dish looked like a construction site after rain. Pale mounds. Gray ladle-fall. Speckles I could not identify.

In my land, the eye eats first. A meal is arranged like a garden. This meal was arranged like weather.

"Is it… finished?" I asked, carefully.

"Honey, that's what it looks like."

The man beside me was already eating his. He did not look up. "Just try it."

I am a man who has charged hillsides at dawn. I raised the fork. I tried it.

I must now formally apologize to the biscuits, the gravy, the waitress, the kitchen, and the entire breakfast tradition of the American South.

It was magnificent. Warm. Peppered. The biscuit drank the gravy the way a field drinks rain — THAT is why it is shaped like that, you fool — and every mound I had insulted was a soft fold of comfort that my homeland, in eight hundred years, never once thought to invent.

"Well?" the waitress asked.

"I judged it," I confessed. "By its appearance. I am ashamed."

"Everybody does, hon."

Everybody does. A national dish that forgives you for doubting it. It expects the doubt. It waits for you on the other side of it.

Do not judge the gravy by its face. Judge yourself, for hesitating.

I order it every Saturday now. I no longer see the construction site. I see only the garden.

It was a garden the whole time. The eye must be trained.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Haymaker @hamtruths]

@Capperleaked @cappers_daily Claims partial win for France ov 3. Game lands 3. Pick on neither of your timelines now. Seems legit.

[Brett Siegel @BrettSiegelNBA]

Although Adam Silver did not specify anything about a team moving from the Western Conference to the Eastern Conference amid potential expansion to Las Vegas and Seattle, the conversation I've had with multiple league personnel is that the Minnesota Timberwolves are the likliest.

[Haymaker @hamtruths]

@Twins Royce 😂

[Willo @WillosOther]

@Twins greatest journeyman of all time

[Siphon @SiphonLord]

@Twins Welcome back Cash Considerations

[Haymaker @hamtruths]

@racjac24 Cowering from the NFL

[Sakred Waves Music 💙 @gawilliamson65]

@MeatSauce1 St Louis park Costco is WAY worse.

[Waterman (9x national champs) @watermanbbb]

@AuburnBaseball Cutting the scoreboard out in the top left corner is funny af 😭😭

[Haymaker @hamtruths]

@nick_sehnert Midweek opponent. Don’t need to throw a midweek starter - 2 or 3 works. Jada is short sighted. Winning first two should be the goal.

[Haymaker @hamtruths]

@PotockiBrandon this still on?

[Minnesota Twins @Twins]

We saw some outdated jerseys and had to swap them with a better option 4 free

[Los Angeles Chargers @chargers]

should we REALLY make our schedule release video in halo?

yes yes yesyes
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yes yes yes yes yes
yes yesyes yes yes
yes yesye yes yes
yes yes yesyes

[Haymaker @hamtruths]

@ToddFuhrman Absolutely agree. Consecutive stand alone games not necessary. As a Bears fan, would have enjoyed going out West to start.

[Haymaker @hamtruths]

@OleTimeHardball Chili Davis

[Haymaker @hamtruths]

@PicksOffice Curious - Action app has you up a little under 10 units last 30 days. 50K would be about 25 units. Thoughts?

[Haymaker @hamtruths]

@HurrdatSports @ralulla @NextGenMaleMed @damonbenning @HailVarsity Haven’t won a game that matters in forever.

[Haymaker @hamtruths]

@Runza @UNLDairyStore Legit disgusting. Want to grow?

Italian Runza. Breakfast Runza.

[Haymaker @hamtruths]

@NUCLRGOLF When will this dope go away?