Handcuff Goddess.

Just a girl. I'm pretty blunt so beware.

[Handcuff Goddess. @Handcuffgoddess]

Are we SURE we are meant to be awake all winter?

[Handcuff Goddess. @Handcuffgoddess]

@blippi has ruined me. I work in construction and now every time someone says "excavator" the damn kids song starts running through my brain.

#Brainworm #Catchy #Construction

[Handcuff Goddess. @Handcuffgoddess]

I'm pretty sure Fast X was written by ChatGPT.

[Handcuff Goddess. @Handcuffgoddess]

Just like you can't heal a burn as long as your hand is still in the fire, you cannot get over something by putting it in the past if you are still living with its effects every day. Healing begins when the damaging source is removed.

#HealingJourney

[Handcuff Goddess. @Handcuffgoddess]

Everyone should be required to work a minimum wage retail job before they are allowed out in the world.

[Handcuff Goddess. @Handcuffgoddess]

Hey @instagram Couple questions:

1)Whats the difference between the nipples of a 3yo boy and those of a 3yo girl?

2)Why are you sexualizing my 3yo girl and taking her shirtless pic down because FEMALE nipples can't show

3) Whats your policy of sexist practices in corporations?

[Handcuff Goddess. @Handcuffgoddess]

I don't get paid enough to be the Project Manager for my family ...

[Handcuff Goddess. @Handcuffgoddess]

@AuntCunt That's just wrong

[Philippe J. Fournier @338Canada]

Approval ratings of Premiers from the Angus Reid Institute

See details here: https://t.co/o9ZngUnVD0

[Aunt Cunt @AuntCunt]

Why are men so obsessed with getting their dicks “rated”? If you REALLY want it rated stick it on the timeline and everyone can have a shot

[Handcuff Goddess. @Handcuffgoddess]

@AuntCunt Are we talking:

Unexpected knock on the door kind of interuption...

Or

Sudden onset diarhea kind of interuption?

#BigDifference

[Handcuff Goddess. @Handcuffgoddess]

@AuntCunt Is just liking their tweet what causes boob asemitry?

[Handcuff Goddess. @Handcuffgoddess]

@AuntCunt @JimH1923 Vodka is never served in wine glasses so we are safe.

[Handcuff Goddess. @Handcuffgoddess]

Him: Of course I value your opinion Babe!

Also him: Ya so...I just made a decision that affects our whole family and finances and our entire future without even mentioning to you first.

#ThisIsWhyIdrink
#ItsNotMeItsYou
#FuckingPatriarchy

[Handcuff Goddess. @Handcuffgoddess]

Right. I'll just be over here. In my own lane. Minding my business.

[Handcuff Goddess. @Handcuffgoddess]

@usernamedispo @GlobalCalgary Nope.

[Handcuff Goddess. @Handcuffgoddess]

Needed:

The Joy of Sex Geriatrics Edition: I don't bend that way anymore.

#GetOnIt

[Handcuff Goddess. @Handcuffgoddess]

Why is my dog obsessed with taking jizz soaked tissues out of the garbage and shredding them all over my room?!? Make it stop!!

#HowDidYouGetTheLidOff
#JizzRagForEveryone

[Handcuff Goddess. @Handcuffgoddess]

@MattersCalgary @GlobalCalgary Could be roommates or 2 married officers I guess.

[Handcuff Goddess. @Handcuffgoddess]

@GlobalCalgary Nope. Because we have kids too young to vaccinate we won't be having anyone over, despite everyone we know being fully vaxed.

Isolate to protect our kids. ❤️